


Futures Known But Unspoken

by MamaBea, Rottweiler



Series: FATES [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Family, Friendship, Gen, No Slut Shaming Plz, Oracles, Please Don't Hate Me, Thorin is grumpy, Two Original Female Characters - Freeform, no romance here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2018-03-16 20:38:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 35,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3502010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamaBea/pseuds/MamaBea, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rottweiler/pseuds/Rottweiler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lane and Belle are two friends who, while they love Peter Jackson's movie, find themselves with minimal to know TRUE knowledge of the world of Middle Earth aside from what their curiosity has opted them to search up. So when the two girls are pulled into the supposed fictional world, they are more than a little over their heads. With one convinced that they're dreaming and the other convinced they're dead and are being punished for their sins, how are they expected to survive in a world  where the most futuristic thing is a horse and buggy?</p><p>TJ sucks at summaries, I'm sorry</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It is done

Dear god how long has it been since the two of us have been on here, a year, maybe two? I don’t even know anymore…

Hey guys this is TJ signing in after forever to not only send out a long overdue apology, but to bring some hopeful news.

MamaBea and I… well let’s not pull any punches, it was all me, I essentially dropped off of the face of the Earth back when I was trying to keep updates for Abiding By Destiny going. Ideas ran dry and ideas I started getting either didn’t fit or showed that there were a lot of plot holes that I never noticed before. Because of this is essential had things grind to a halt and kinda just disappeared.

Sudden inspiration hit me a few days ago(mostly due to another one of my stories hitting a brick wall) and after talking with MamaBea, we agreed that a revamp/reboot was in order. When we first began making this story, our ideas for Lane and Belle were only half formed, and in my own personal opinion, they were a little flat as well. Due to this, we are pulling back all of our story ideas, all of our notes and character sheets and going to try and better the story, not just to our own liking, but hopefully to all of yours.

While a great many things will change, a fair amount of things will remain as well, but the main thing I wanted, at least for Lane’s character and development throughout the series, was for her to be not just a little more relatable, but more of a character that I as her creator would be proud to have learn and grow from everything she goes though; I also wanted to address some real-time “issues” that I’ve witnessed happening around not just me, but a great many places. I hope to shine some light as well as to bring positive representation to all of this, and if I write something that someone WITH these experiences finds offensive or inaccurate then please message me.

I think that’s it… We’ll be sure to keep you guys posted as things progress~!

 

-TJ

UPDATE

Hey guys, TJ again~

Just wanted to let you guys know that MamaBea and I are VERY close to having FKBU completed; I'd say we're about 97%. We're just polishing up the final few chapters and laying out plans for the next installment to the FATES series. Hopefully we'll be able to keep this schedule on track, have everything finished before the end of September and be updating at latest by October. Keep you guys posted~!

Hey guys, guess who~~

So! Life has struck once again and royally screwed over MamaBea; she's been SUPER busy and hasn't had the time to fine tune her chapters as of yet. I don't want there to be any stress for her to to write them, so I've told her to do them whenever she has time and energy. Because of this, I'm not entirely sure when chapters will begin to be posted, though I'm hoping before December we'll be able to start posting. Please be patient a little longer as she does her best to show you the best Belle

\--TJ

IT'S FINALLY FINISHED

After a near three year hiatus and reboot, TJ and Bea are happy to present a newly edited, perfected and extended Futures Known But Unspoken. We hope that you all enjoy the new material we have created for you and we will do our best to bring you weekly updates. Thank you all so much for having such patience with us and for the few who have remained subscribed and the fewer who have kept our story bookmarked throughout this time, we can't thank you guys enough for your silent support and again, hope that what we bring for you know you view as worth the wait~!

\--TJ & Bea


	2. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fate is a strange thing

The coined term of ‘Opposites Attract’ has been the centerpiece for many a romance story beloved in the 21st century, and is one that many people in said century believed to be a true test of one's self and their ability to either cope with difference or adore it in its entirety.

Isabella Healy was one of these 21st century people.

Belle always tried to be a better person, even though it's never been easy. She wasn't one to assume the worst of someone, she'd rather see the good and hope that maybe being friends will bring that good out. Belle wasn't always a goody goody, but her good side always outweighed any desire to be a “rebel”. Even when she did do something wrong, depending how bad the situation was, depended on how long the guilt would eat at her. Belle understood that the world and the people in it aren’t perfect. To her though, she was always looking for a positive in the dark. She had a huge heart, a heart that has been broken many ways, and yet she continued to love and support anyone who needed it. Belle didn't want to dwell on her needs and suffering, she'd much rather look after others and help them through their tough times. She was loyal and it took a lot to push Belle away, she didn't give up easily when it's something she saw as important.

Then, when Belle was 16, her world tipped drastically to one side with the entrance of an upperclassman by the name of Lane Forester.

Lane was, for lack of better terms, a party girl. Following her “Three S’s of life” rule, she has a flat outlook towards the world and figured she may as well Screw, Smoke and Sustain herself through life before she got so sick of the “fucking morons littering this hellhole” that she threw herself off of the nearest bridge. Lane had a book of vocabulary that would make any sailor proud and tended to throw the entirety of the book at people loudly when mildly upset, and anything further than that would result in flying fists and heels. Dressing in crop tops, shorts and heels throughout the most of her high school years, she was quickly mocked and scorned, called the school slut and chastised for her demeanor and attire more than once by the adults in her life, this usually ending with a bored look on her part and sometimes the flip of the middle finger depending on how long the rant would extend for.

In other words, Belle and Lane were as the farthest opposites you could probably find.

While Belle was generally well mannered, Lane was foul mouthed with an even worse temperament. While Lane was self confident in both status and physical structure, Belle could be found actively avoiding such subjects if she could. While Belle was happy and kind hearted, Lane tended towards being harsh and angry.

So naturally, when the two became close friends in their later years of high school, minds were boggled.

The two girls balanced each other out; something that they desperately needed in their lives, maybe not in a love interest, but simply in another person they found they could rely on. Belle was the one who saw the good in people and one of the few people who mastered the ability to calm Lane from one of her raging fist-throwing tangents, while Lane acted much like both a sword and shield; defending her friends if others were playing dirty and inflicting broken noses if they started to cry. As their group of friends all grew together for the next several years the two opposites remained the closest among them all.

But everyone knows that life is never that easy. That there are always bumps in the road, or unexpected forks in your path where you feel you have to make a choice. Sometimes the outcomes are ones you strived towards and feel accomplished reaching at the end, and some are ones you never imagined you’d be faced with and you’d give nothing more than to take it all back. The life you are given can vary from enchanting to deplorable, from loving to malicious, from joyous to agonising. And seldom do we have a choice in changing it.

**Fate is a strange thing like that.**


	3. How to Become a Hero 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two girls, one trip

* * *

* * *

Belle went to her contacts in her cell and looked for Lane's number. She was dying for a Hobbit marathon and knew that Lane would say yes, unless she had a date. Belle located Lane's contact - a picture Belle had convinced Lane to let her take and hit the speed dial.  
  
An upbeat ringtone rang through the darkened room from a pant pocket carelessly tossed over the bedside lamp, the lump on the motel bed not moving to answer despite its loud volume. After a few more seconds of the jaunty tune screaming through the room, the device was fetched up and after punching in the correct passcode, was placed between cheek and shoulder.  
  
"Hey Izz, what's up~?"  
  
"Sorry, were you sleeping?" Belle asked feeling bad at the sound of Lane's voice, "I was just wondering if you're not busy if you wanted to come over?"  
  
Belle began to move around her room searching for her extended editions, "Thought maybe we could have a Hobbit Marathon. I'm in much need of some Middle Earth."  
  
"Nah, I've been up for a while now. As much as I'd have LOVED to have slept in, _dingus here_ snores like a fucking bear," Lane scowled, glaring at the hidden lump on the bed before reaching into a larger set of pants that hung from the ceiling fan and pulled out a pack of smokes, pulling one out and into her mouth as she continued the hunt for her left sock. "And yeah I'm down. Mom knows not to expect me to be home on weekends so I have a free day-as soon as I find my fucking sock for fuck sakes!"  
  
"Why are you sleeping with a bear?" Belle tried to joke, "You know they sleep too much."  
  
Belle laughed, as she located the extended versions, "Why are you always misplacing your socks? Do you allow your dates to eat them?" Belle placed the movies on her desk as she looked at the clock, "What time can you be here for? Are you hungry?"  
  
"He didn't LOOK like a bear, though honestly that may have been the martinis talking," Lane huffed, voice slightly muffled now around the cigarette as she lifted the bed sheet looking for the slim black article of clothing. "And I swear Izz, the damned things grow legs and hide from me some days; and Bridget wonders why they never fucking match..."  
  
Finding the snoring man laying on it the woman rolled her eyes and reached under him to pull it out, only getting a short snort in response before fixing the cigarette in her mouth and pulling it onto her foot.  
  
"Wait did you seriously ask if I was hungry? Was that a legit question? Izz I thought we were friends! You should know by now that there are only three things in this world I love more than life itself!"  
  
Belle laughed again as she headed to the kitchen, "It's the polite thing, and of course we're friends, but I have to ask so I know what to cook."  
  
Belle moved around the kitchen, "And let's see, you love food... me... and kilts." Belle pulled out a pot and glared at it, "I'm thinking pasta for lunch and popcorn for a snack.  Or is there something else you want?"  
  
Lane couldn't help but laugh at her friend's words, somehow managing to wiggle into her shorts before standing straight and scratching her head as she attempted to locate her bra.  
  
"I'll get you to remember that one of these days, but since you're making me food I'll let it slide this time," she chuckled. "And as long as you don't put coconut in anything I'll eat whatever you make me."  
  
"No coconut pasta, sounds like a plan," Belle replied putting water in the pot, "I always make you food, so you always forgive me."  
  
Belle looked at the fridge and added, "Seems my mom and sister left for the day, we got the house to ourselves!"  
  
"I like the sounds of that, nothing against you mom or sister or anything, but I do enjoy salivating over men I can never touch in the comfort of my OWN comfort," Lane hummed, locating the lacy article of clothing and managing to hook it behind her back and pull up the straps. "I'm pretty sure I left my car back at the bar... then drive to your place... gimme 45 minutes?"  
  
"Sounds good to me," Belle said as she searched for her bread knife, "Food should be ready by the time you get here. Drive safe, okay?"  
  
"Yes mother," Lane replied with a laugh, taking a quick drag of her cigarette before tossing it out of a nearby window and stuffing the remaining pack into her bra before slipping on her shirt. "I'll see you when I get there."  
  
The two hung up and Belle set to work. This was a normal thing, the women would hang out, Belle would cook and they'd watch a movie or three. Sometimes they'd go out, but Belle wasn't the party goer like Lane was, though that didn't bother Belle too much.  
  
Belle began to dice some veggies for the sauce, but stopped to pour hot water in a cup to steep tea. Belle was sipping her tea when she looked at the time; Lane would be here soon.  Belle rushed upstairs to grab the movies and then back into the kitchen to set the plates out.  She was just about to put a serving on Lane's plate when the doorbell rang.  
  
Belle booked it to the door and threw it open. Lane jumped slightly at the ferocity of the door opening but quickly recovered.  
  
"Excuse you, I wasn't done checking out the hottie in my reflection!"  
  
Belle gave Lane her usual bright big smile, "Well I'm sorry, thought you were here to see me," she countered before adding, "Food is ready, just as I promised."  
  
"Oh well in that case you're forgiven; sustenance _is_ one of my three S's after all," Lane hummed, stepping into the house.  
  
Belle shook her head before leading the way to the kitchen. "So I thought since we have the house, we could watch the movies in the living room?  Bigger TV after all."  
  
Belle watched as Lane took a big sniff of the pasta, "It's not coconut, I promise."  
  
"Good. Coconut is almost as disgusting as-is that _TEA_..." Lane gasped, her face screwing up into an expression of pure disgust and horror as she stared at the cup on the table.  
  
Belle leaned over to pick up her cup, taking a sip, "Yes. It’s the one the girls gave me for Christmas last year, it had a nice fruity aroma to it. It's delicious." Belle grinned over her cup, "Would you like some?"  
  
Lane gave her friend a disgusted look and made a loud retching sound before retreating to the living room.  
  
"Oh come on!  Don't knock it until you've tried it Lane! Tea is good for you," Belle said as she followed behind her friend, "It's not going to kill you."  
  
"Bleg! Fucking shit tastes like grass flavoured water, don't understand how the Brits do it..." Lane scowled, not turning around and continuing her route.  
  
Belle caught up to her friend who had found her favourite spot by the TV.  
  
Belle shook her head, placing her food and drink down before setting up the TV. "It just takes some adjusting, you know it's good for when you're sick. And herbal teas are _really_ good for you."  
  
Belle could hear her friend behind her making gagging noises, "Hey, I don't gag when you tell me about those drinks you have, so don't gag about my tea."  
  
"I NEED those drinks when you, Lauren and Hunter go on fucking tea tangents..." Lane muttered under her breath.  
  
"But then you get very loud, and want to mash hard potatoes," Belle countered as the menu screen popped up, "It's just tea Hun, not gonna hurt you."  
  
"Once was enough... never again..." Lane muttered. "Now are you going to gimme my popcorn or do I need to go have a cigarette to drown out your mind games?"  
  
Belle laughed, "Okay, okay.  I'll be right back."  
  
Belle disappeared for a moment and return with two bowls of popcorn, "And there's more where they came from," she said as she passed her friend a bowl.  
  
Lane greedily stole the bowl from her friend before placing it on her crossed legs, adjusting her glasses on her face before taking a handful of the buttery goodness and stuffing her face.  
  
Belle shook her head at her friend as she plopped herself down on the couch, she took a sip of her tea before pressing play.  
  
As the first few scenes began to play out, Belle felt a rush of excitement; she loved these movies.Lane's eyes remained glued to the screen as she all but destroyed her bowl of popcorn.  
  
"I'm gonna need a cold shower after all this exposure to Armitage man..."  
  
"Oh god. Not again," Belle groaned. She shook her head and then smiled slightly, "Maybe you should leave spare clothes here so you can?"  
  
"How about you just get me a ticket to England so I can fuck him and get it over with."  
  
Belle felt her face completely heat up, "Lane! Really? I mean yes go on a trip to England but..." Belle's face continued to burn, "Don't attack the poor man..."  
  
Lane turned slightly to give her friend a devious smile. "Only between the sheets~"  
  
Belle tossed a pillow at Lane, "God! Not what I meant... Just watch the movie!"  
  
Belle tried to shake off her blushing, unlike Lane, Belle's ability to have a relationship was nonexistent. Not because she didn't want to, just because she couldn't get a clue and usually more than she'd like to admit she became friends with the guy instead of able to make a move. She watched as Fíli and Kíli counted the ponies hoping to calm herself down.  
  
Lane continued to smirk to herself, loving to tease her innocent friend with banter that'd make her flush pink; it was a cute colour on her after all. "You keep watching the movie, I need to piss."  
  
"Alright," Belle replied and did just that.  
  
When Lane left the room, Belle furrowed her brows and mumbled, "Gandalf, you should never leave those dwarves unattended! They need someone to guide them."  
  
It always bugged her that whenever the wizard left the dwarves and Bilbo unattended, they got into so much trouble.  
  
After a quick visit to the bathroom Lane cautiously poked her head around the corner to see Belle was still engrossed in the movie, sneaking around the corner and into the kitchen before pulling her pack of smokes out of her bra and a lighter from her back pocket. Opening the glass door leading to the small landing, Lane squeezed through the gap with cigarette in mouth and flicked her lighter against it.  
  
Belle watched as Gandalf appeared, a scene she knew well and grinned. These would be the very trolls the beginning of fellowship would see. Belle wondered if anyone had thought to leave a sign of some sort to tell others the story of the trolls.  
  
Lane finished her cigarette before stomping it out on the ground and returning back into the house, assuming her earlier spot on the floor and reclaiming her nearly depleted bowl of popcorn.  
  
Belle grinned at her friend, "Welcome back, would you like more popcorn? Root Beer? Not beer..." Belle glanced down at her cup, "I think I'll make myself more tea...maybe."  
  
Lane shoveled the rest of her popcorn into her mouth before wordlessly holding up the bowl over her head.  
  
Belle giggled as she took the bowl and disappeared into the kitchen. She made another batch of popcorn while another cup of tea steeped, she thought about a pop, but figured she'd wait until later. As she grabbed Lane's bowl now filled with popcorn along with her own bowl and drink, she also grabbed Lane a Root Beer.  
  
Hearing her friend's footsteps coming back into the room, Lane didn't take her eyes away from the group clambering into the cave to escape the heavy rainstorm and raging rock giants of the Misty Mountains, simply raising her hand once again to accept the offering of food.  
  
"Thorin's such a fucking dingus though, poor Bilbo always getting dragged down by him and he just wants to help..."  
  
"I know!" Belle replied as she gave her friend her bowl and drink then sitting back in her spot, "It's times like this where I wish Bilbo had backup. Instead of feeling outnumbered..."  
  
Lane made a noise of agreement around her popcorn filled mouth and couldn't help the laugh from escaping her when everyone fell through the floor and into the goblin's den.  
  
"Don't laugh, Lane! I would not want to be down there... it's terrible! And Gollum's down there! It’s not funny!"  Belle scolded, "I mean, if they hadn't of fallen Bilbo never would have found the ring..."  
  
"And if Bilbo had never found the ring then poor baby Frodo never would have had to lose a finger..." Lane pouted. "My baby Elijah Wood..."  
  
"Exactly!" Belle agreed, "But then he also would never have met the fellowship..." Belle had always found the relationships in the fellowship to be interesting. They all could have hated each other in the end but they ended up being the best of friends.  
  
Lane simply shrugged and continued to devour her popcorn as the dwarves faced off with the Goblin King.  
  
"God, that beard..." Belle said making a face, "The Goblin King's beard is so..." Belle continued to make a disgusted face.  
  
"Hunter doesn't believe me when I say it's a testicle," Lane huffed. "She's never even SEEN a testi and tries to tell me in a world where there are dragons and trolls that it's unrealistic..."  
  
"And this is why I don't have a clean mind anymore," Belle sighed, "If they get that gross I feel bad for all the kids I've changed diapers for..."  
  
"Kids? How do you think _I_ feel... nevermind, I'd rather not remember..." Lane shivered turning back to the TV.  
  
"You're the one sleeping with bears," Belle whispered with a small grin as she tried to tease.  
  
"Well he _was_ quite the animal~" Lane grinned, looking back at her friend over her shoulder.  
  
"Ewww, gross!" Belle made a face, "I do not need to know the details..."  
  
Lane's grin simply grew and she turned back to the TV once again.  
  
The women watched in silence for awhile until Azog appeared. Belle made a noise, "I can't stand him..."  
  
She watched as the company got into the trees and shook her head, "The pine cones would totally burn the hands..."  
  
"Ease up back there Al Michaels," Lane hisses, reaching back blindly to swat at her friend.  
  
"What?" Belle said as she moved away from Lane's swatting hand, "I'm just saying..."  
  
"Look what you did! Your insistent prattling distracted Thorin and now he's a squeaky toy!" Lane gasped in mock horror, motioning to the screen where Azog's warg had the King Under the Mountain in its jaws.  
  
"It wasn't me!" Belle replied eyes wide, "How can you blame me!? He's the one who decided now was a good time to fight Azog when everything is ON fire!"  
  
Belle wrinkled her nose, "He just charges in head first, won't listen to Bilbo, won't listen to his company, won't listen to Gandalf! Maybe he needs a good scolding from his sister... or a lady, cause clearly he doesn't listen to the men around him..."Lane raised a finger into the air and pushed her glasses higher onto her nose.  
  
"As a wise man once told me: God gave men two heads, but only enough blood to use one at a time."  
  
"Well he's not... using either...." Belle stumbled over her words and feeling her cheeks heat once more, "So clearly he needs guidance..."  
  
Lane snickered into her bowl, knowing that she'd once again essentially backed her friend into an innuendo filled corner that the younger was doing her best not to associate herself with.  
  
"You're terrible..." Belle mumbled.  
  
Belle watched as Bilbo got up and attempted to protect Thorin, watched as the company members screamed on the tree.  
  
"I give Bilbo props for going to rescue Thorin... I would be stuck on that tree, attempting to either not fall or save whoever was stuck on the tree..."  
  
Lane simply snickered but otherwise remained quiet.  
  
As the movie came to an end and showed the little bird, Belle lost it, "Stupid bird! How could you!!!! You woke the dragon!"  
  
Lane rolled her eyes at her friend and stretched out, hands above her head and feet out in front of her. "Alright, one more movie and then I think I'm gonna have to call Doogie or something because I can't take much more of all these hot fucking men that I can never have..."  
  
Belle blinked and then as she got up to change the discs made a face at Lane, "Ew." It was all she said but it spoke volumes from her.  
  
Lane snickered at her friend but didn't push the subject any further, despite the fact that she had a cascading line-up of things she could say to essentially get her evicted from her friend's house.  
  
Belle put in The Desolation of Smaug and hummed as she headed back to her spot. The menu screen came up and Belle felt more excitement, "I get to see my favourite Elf!"  
  
"Fan service" Lane coughed, clearing her throat a few time and taking a sip of her Root Beer.  
  
"I don't care," Belle said sticking her tongue out, "I was under the impression I'd never see him in these movies and now I do..."  
  
Belle watched the screen as Bilbo's face popped up, "Oooo another favourite scene coming up..."  
  
"Is it sad that I barely remember anything from this movie?" Lane hummed, shifting in her spot for a few seconds before stilling. "I know there's a dragon and some elves? And why is Dandy Thrandy popping into my head…?"  
  
Belle gasped, "And you call yourself a fan!" Belle began to laugh, "How is that all you remember? What about Bard?"  
  
Lane looked back at her friend with an utterly confused face for a few moments before a sign of mild recognition crossed her features. "We watched this at Natalie's place didn't we?"  
  
"Yes..." Belle replied, unsure where her friend was going with this.  
  
"Thaaaat explains why I don't remember; Lauren brought Vodka..." Lane surmised.  
  
Belle sighed heavily, "I guess I'll be silent while you watch it then... Can't believe you would drink during the movie..."  
  
"Of course I drank during the movie!" Lane scoffed, mock appalled at her friend's meaning. "It was VODKA!"  
  
"But it's Middle Earth!" Belle replied, "You love the Lord of the Rings series... these are the prequels!"  
  
"And because I don't remember the movie you now get to relish in a sober Forester and it will feel like the first time all over again~"  
  
Belle shook her head, "I will stay silent then. Allow you to absorb what you missed."  
  
Lane simply stuffed her mouth full of popcorn once again and gave her friend a thumbs up.Belle did her best to bite her tongue during the movie. She disappeared to the bathroom and then went to grab a ginger ale. When she returned, Lane was making a face.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"I forgot canon-fodder was in this movie," Lane grumbled. "Like yay for kick-ass female representation and dayum I'd love to check the carpet but at the same time why?"  
  
Belle laughed, "Well that's what you get for drinking and she's a very beautiful woman, so a lot of people are attracted to her. I mean I like the Prince, but I can see why everyone likes her."  
  
The majority of the rest of the movie was spent in relative silence, the two making small quips about things here and there but otherwise eyes remained glued to the movie in front of them.  
  
The two sets of eyes were glued to the TV screen as the great dragon flew out of the mountain towards the small town nestled on the lake.  
  
“I am fire! I. Am. Death!” the dragon hissed.  
  
“What have we done?”  
  
The screen went black and the two women didn’t move from their spots.  
  
“Wait… is that it?” Lane asked, her hand having stopped mid scoop in the popcorn bowl on her lap.  
  
Sure enough the credits began to roll up the screen and a green bowl of popcorn was flung towards the TV.  
  
“PETER JACKSON I FUCKING HATE YOU!!” she roared.  
  
“LANE!!” Belle cried, watching as the bowl collided with the TV screen, her eyes wide with horror.  
  
The flatscreen teetered on its stand before falling off of the shelf it stood on, smashing onto the ground face down. The two slowly turned to look at each other, Lane with wide and slightly fear-filled eyes while Belle was shaking in anger.  
  
“It was the gremlins?”  
  
“I’M GOING TO _KILL_ YOU!!!”  
  
The two women shot out of their seats, the taller woman laughing through apology after apology as the shorter ran after her with murder written in her eyes.  
  
Running around the room several times, Lane attempted to leap over the back of the couch, only for Belle to reach out to grab onto the back of her shirt. Belle’s foot got caught on the TV wire that came out from under the back of the couch however, causing her to teeter forward over the back and send the two women to the ground with a hard ‘thud’, a loud buzz sounding before the lights in the room went out.  
  
They both gave a heavy grunt, Lane’s mouth falling open and eyes clenching shut when her friend’s body landed on top of her, the air being forced out of her lungs.  
  
“Great! You broke my TV and you killed the power to my house! My mom’s going to kill me,” Belle groaned, shuffling around in the dark.  
  
“Are you… _happy now_?” Lane wheezed. “I didn’t think you were _actually_ going to try to kill me-”  
  
A hand was suddenly over her mouth causing her eyes to open in a glare. Her glare quickly melted away when she noticed that the carpeted floor beneath them had been replaced with a dark, snowy and tree-lined road.  
  
“Oh god you really _did_ kill me…”  
  
Belle quickly got off of her back, Lane groaning and splaying out like a star on her stomach as she greedily filled her lungs with the much needed oxygen.  
  
“Lane… this isn’t my living room… hell this isn’t even my backyard…” the shorter woman squeaked, nervously fiddling with the end of her shirt as her eyes darted around. “And it’s _snowing_! My feet are _freezing_!”  
  
Lane managed to heave herself off of the ground and brushed the snow off of her shirt and shorts. “Well you’ve clearly killed us both so I hope you’re happy. Though I highly doubt this is heaven because I’d be surrounded by men in kilts instead of _you_ if it was.”  
  
Belle swung around to glare at her friend, opening her mouth to shoot back a retort when a twig snapped further into the forest, her giving a sharp scream before dashing over to Lane and hiding behind her.  
  
“You’re such a wussy Izz; it’s just snow…” Lane snickered, fixing her glasses on her face as she ran a hand through her hair.  
  
“I’m not a wussy, it just startled me!” the shorter woman snapped.  
  
“Can you stop holding my shirt hostage then?”  
  
Belle huffed and quickly released her iron grip on the back of her friend’s shirt, pouting when Lane continued to give her a teasing grin.  
  
“Well, rather than brooding about how crappy this heaven is let’s see if we can find me some kilted men,” Lane hummed, beginning the trek forward. “And maybe some shoes holy fuck, I like the cold but I don’t fucking run marathons in it…”  
  
Belle gave a small squeak as her friend began walking away, quickly dashing after her and walking beside her, hands stuffed into her armpits.  
  
The two women continued to trudge through the forest, Belle’s head on a constant swivel while Lane lead the way.  
  
“How do you even know where we’re going?” Belle asked.  
  
“I _don’t_ know where I’m going,” Lane laughed. “I’m just walking in a straight line and hoping that it doesn’t lead me over a cliff or something.”  
  
“Great, I’m resting my fate in the hands of a girl who knows nothing,” Belle grumbled.  
  
“If you have any better ideas then _you’re_ free to lead,” Lane scoffed, stopping to turn and give her friend a glare.  
  
Belle shrunk slightly and stopped as well before motioning for the taller to continue on, Lane rolling her eyes with a small smirk before beginning to walking again.  
  
After what felt like hours of walking, the two finally caught a faint opening in the forest, turning to grin at each other before dashing towards it.  
  
“And you said I know nothing!” Lane laughed, jumping over a small log. “Do I _look_ like Jon Snow to you?”  
  
“Alright! Alright! I get it! I’m sorry!” Belle laughed back, lagging behind her friend’s longer strides.  
  
The two broke the barrier of trees, only to take a tumble down the small hill in front of them. Groaning and standing from the ground, both sets of eyes widened at the scene in front of them.  
  
“Why does hell look like white New Zealand?” Lane asked, fixing her glasses to rest properly on her nose once again.  
  
“Wait, why are we in hell?” Belle questioned, raising an eyebrow at her friend.  
  
“Because there’s no men in kilts and I’m stuck with you.”  
  
Belle’s eye twitched in aggravation as her friend stood and walked passed her, grumbling profanities under her breath as she also stood and followed after the taller.  
As the women cautiously moved closer to the snowy town, the two became more and more confused.  
  
“Lane… are we in the Shire?” Belle asked with a baffled look.  
  
“There’s no way, this is _not_ some shittily written fanfiction about a girl traveling into Middle Earth and getting her man… Oh _please_ let it not be shittily fanfiction about a girl traveling into Middle Earth and getting her man,” Lane groaned, her head already beginning to hurt.  
  
“What if the man is really nice on the eyes… like… _really_ nice on the eyes,” Belle questioned as the two continued forward.  
  
“If that were to happen then I’d seriously have to reconsider my priorities,” Lane snickered. “Though he has to have a sweet ass in order for me to give him a chance.”  
  
“You’re disgusting,” Belle grunted.  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
“That wasn’t a compliment.”  
  
“Well I’m making it one.”  
  
“You can’t do that!”  
  
“Says who?”  
  
“Says… SAYS ME!!”  
  
“The world doesn’t revolve around you Izz, it revolves around the booty.”  
  
“Oh for the love of-”  
  
The banter between the two was stopped short when Lane, who had been walking ahead, suddenly fell down the other side of the hill with a sharp shriek.  
  
“Lane!!” Belle cried, dashing over. “Lane are you alright?”  
  
“Yeah… I think the only thing I bruised too badly is my pride…” Lane groaned, eyes squeezed shut as she rubbed her tender bottom before beginning to stand.  
Before she could get to her feet however, a loud creak from behind Lane caused the two of them to jump and the taller to turn to look behind her.  
  
“Oh! Oh my!” the man stammered, his eyes wide at seeing the strange woman laying sprawled out on his doorstep. “Um… good morning…”  
  
Lane’s eyes widened when she recognised the all too familiar face that was looking at her.  
  
“Holy mother of… are you…”  
  
  


## Martin Freeman?


	4. Welcome to Hobbiton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Familiar names, unfamiliar faces

“Pardon me?” The man asked, giving her a quizzical look. “I'm afraid you… must have me mixed up with someone else.”  


“If you're not Martin Freeman then who ARE you?” Lane scoffed, finally standing and crossing her arms over her chest, only then noticing _Martin_ was the size of her six year old niece.

“I am Bilbo Baggins of Bag End,” the man huffed.

Lane was still for a moment before her face broke out into one of disbelief before she snorted in an attempt to hold her laughter, clapping a hand over her mouth. Belle managed to slide her way down the hill to stand beside her friend.

“Sorry sorry, we didn't mean to… uh… drop in or anything, but I think we've gotten ourselves horribly lost…” the smaller woman interjected quickly.

The small man, Bilbo, now gave the two women in front of him an assessing look before sighing through his nose and gesturing with his hand that they join him in his home. Belle led the way with a hand around Lane’s wrist, toting her friend after her into the accurately sized hobbit hole.

“You two ladies definitely look a little worse for wear, and not even properly dressed for the cold,” Bilbo hummed, placing two cups of tea in front of the women once they all sat down in the kitchen. “And you say you’ve gotten lost?”  
  
“I think right now lost might be a fucking understatement…” Lane muttered under her breath, giving the tea cup a wary look from her slightly squished spot on the dinner bench.  
  
“We know we’re in the Shire… we just… can’t seem to remember how we got here,” Belle finished, giving her friend a scolding look and nudging her in the knee with her own while picking up her own tea cup to take a sip.  
  
“Is the tea not satisfactory, miss…” Bilbo began, fading off when he realized he hadn’t learned their names.  
  
“Lane. My name is Lane,” she muttered. “And no… the tea is… fine…”  
  
“And my name is Isabella, but calling me Belle is fine,” Belle smiled, placing her cup down on the table.  
  
“Ah, well I’m glad to hear that, and it’s...um… lovely to meet you both,” Bilbo smiled, quickly turning back to the boiling pot over the fire.  
  
The moment Bilbo’s back was turned, Lane quickly poured her tea into Belle’s cup, the shorter giving her a glare while Lane simply slouched slightly in her seat and began to inspect her nails.  
  
“Well, I mean not to come off as rude, but do you know if there is a place you can stay? Perhaps with a friend? Maybe this Martin character you had me confused with?” Bilbo asked when he turned back around.  
  
“No actually, we don’t,” Lane hummed, playing with her empty cup.  
  
“We’re not exactly… from around here… so we don’t have many friends in the area,” Belle added, still glaring at Lane as she sipped the new tea in her cup.  
  
“Yes well, forgive me for being blunt, but it's quite obvious that you two are not from these parts, especially yourself Miss Lane, I mean, how DID you manage such a colour to your hair?”

“Three and a half hours of itching and small talk that's how,” Lane huffed, subconsciously reaching up to run her hand through her green locks.

Bilbo turned to give Belle a questioning look only for the woman to shake her head as if not to worry about it.  
  
“Well, what still remains is the predicament of your dwelling. I’d say you could try Bree, but it’s quite a journey from here and not one that should be done by two ladies such as yourself,” Bilbo hummed, reaching over to fill Lane’s cup back up before she could object.  
  
Lane glared at her now full tea cup as Belle quietly snickered. Once again, when Bilbo’s back was turned, Lane opened the top of the teapot and poured her tea back in, Belle sighing in defeat before placing her empty cup back down.  
  
“Well, we must find somewhere for you two to stay,” Bilbo claimed, turning back to them with a kind smile. “We can go into town and see if anyone has any ideas.”  
  
The two women nodded and carefully stood from his table, Bilbo giving a hum causing them to stop and look at him.  
  
“What’s wrong?” they chorused.  
  
“It’s just… your clothes. I’ve never seen patterns like them before, nor the material,” Bilbo claimed.  
  
The two women looked down at themselves.  
  
Belle was wearing a short sleeve purple shirt and a pair of black pants while Lane was wearing a dark blue halter top and a pair of black jean shorts. Both women, as they had been inside when they’d arrived to Middle Earth, were wearing no footwear, Belle wearing a pair of fluffy purple socks while Lane’s were black with red polkadots that reached her knee, and both were damp from the snow and caked in mud from their trek through the forest.  
  
“Well unfortunately these are all we have, nothing but the literal clothes on our backs,” Lane hummed.  
  
Bilbo simply nodded and lead the way out of Bag End, the two women following after him as Belle began to tug self consciously at her clothing.

“Great, now I feel like a weirdo for wearing pants,” she muttered.

Lane only snickered and shook her head at her friend’s insecurities, rubbing her hands together to try and retain some heat to them.  
  
Not ever having seen the entirety of the Shire, the women were baffled to find that it was _much_ bigger than they’d expected; it took them nearly a half hour to just get out of Hobbiton and into Tuckborough.  
  
“I don’t remember any of this from the movies,” Belle whispered to her friend.  
  
“So, what is it like… where you’re from?” Bilbo suddenly asked, looking back at the two women.  
  
“You wouldn’t believe us if we told you,” Belle laughed.  
  
A plotting smirk quickly stretched across Lane’s face. “Where we come from we have a special way of greeting each other…” she claimed.  
  
“Really? What is it?” Bilbo asked, seeming interested.  
  
Belle spun and gave her friend a ‘don’t you dare’ look before Lane grinned, dashed forward and smacked Bilbo on the rump, the hobbit giving a surprised yelp and jumping nearly a foot in the air.  
  
“Lane!!”  
  
“What? I’m just saying hi~” she grinned, placing an arm across Bilbo’s shoulders. “Sorry if I startled you Bilbo, it’s just a greeting is all~”  
  
“N-no no, it’s alright… I just find it a little… odd is all…” the ever polite hobbit stammered, his cheeks slightly pink.  
  
“Ahh, see Izz, he’s alright with it~” Lane sang, turning back to grin at her friend.  
  
Belle rolled her eyes and quickened her pace so that she was walking on Bilbo’s other side, Lane having removed her arm from the hobbit’s shoulder.  
  
Once the trio made it to the market, Lane and Belle were wide eyes and looking around like kids in a candy store.  
  
“This is _so_ cool,” Lane grinned.  
  
“It’s awesome being able to see the actual market instead of through a screen,” Belle agreed.  
  
“Bilbo~~!”  
  
A blonde head sped by the two women and all but slammed into their hobbit guide.  
  
“Ah, Primula,” Bilbo groaned, trying to get the air back in his lungs from the attack. “It’s nice to see you too.”  
  
Lane’s eyes narrowed a fraction at hearing the name, racking her brain as to why it sounded so familiar to her.  
  
“Primula, this is Miss Isabella and Miss Lane,” Bilbo introduced, motioning his hand towards the two women.  
  
“It’s nice to meet you, I’m Primula Baggins, Bilbo’s cousin,” the blond greeted with a sweet smile.  
  
“Oh it’s lovely to meet you Primula~!” Belle beamed. “Can I just say I _love_ your dress!”  
  
“Why thank you, I stitched it myself~!” the blond hobbit hummed, doing a few twirls.  
  
A grin instantly shot onto Lane’s face at hearing the female hobbit’s full name and status, all too willing to shake her hand when she offered it with a kind smile.  
  
“It’s nice to meet you Primula, though I’d rather you _and_ your cousin to call me Lane rather than adding miss or lady,” Lane greeted with the grin still stretched across her lips.  
  
“So, did I hear Bilbo said that you’re looking for a place to stay?” Primula began.  
  
“And possibly some new clothes,” Belle added, looking down at her attire and rubbing her arms. “I don’t really think what we’re wearing is… decent for where we are right now, _or_ the climate honestly…”  
  
Primula nodded and was about to speak when another voice cut it.  
  
“Well why not stay with our dear Bilbo~?”  
  
Bilbo’s face instantly went pink and began stuttering while an older hobbit woman walked up to stand beside Primula, her auburn locks curled in ringlets much like the blond’s.  
  
“Oh mother that’s a wonderful idea~” Primula cheered, clapping her hands together. “Bag End is surely large enough to host two more and Bilbo’s all but become a shut-in so having company will surely do some good~!”  
  
“Aunty Mirabella _pleas_ e!” Bilbo whined. “I don’t believe-”  
  
“Oh nonsense dearest Bilbo, I highly doubt these two lovely young ladies will be a bother to you,” Mirabella laughed, crossing her arms over her chest.  
  
“If it’s a matter of food and other things than we could always find a job and pay you back,” Belle claimed, looking over towards the hobbit. “Actually, a job may be a good idea anyways, I think I’d go out of my mind just sitting at home and not doing anything.”  
  
“Wonderful! It’s decided then!” Primula smiled. “Oh, but if you’re looking for work… is there any particular place you’d rather?”  
  
“Well off the top of my head…” Lane faded off as she winked and gave a flirty smile at a passing hobbit, said tiny creature’s cheeks going slightly pink before quickening his pace and passing the group.  
  
“I thought you liked the guys to be taller?” Belle whispered, all too aware of the three hobbits standing barely ten feet away from them.  
  
“But look at the size of his feet…”  
  
Belle gave a loud and very unladylike snort which she attempted to cover up with her hand only to burst into a coughing fit, Lane turning and giving her a puzzled look with a raised eyebrow.

  
“Well, how about we go to Primula’s shop and see if we can fine you lovely ladies some new clothes first or at least something to warm your poor feet, and after that we can walk around so that you may decide,” Mirabella offered.  
  
“Sounds like a plan,” Lane shrugged as Belle’s coughs subsided.  
  
Mirabella and Primula nodded before beginning to lead the way, Lane and Belle following after them while Bilbo brought up the rear with a small sigh.  
  
After a few minutes the small group came to stand in front of a small clothing shop. Primula led the way in with the others following behind her, Belle and Lane ducking through the small entrance.  
  
“Oh wow, it’s not so bad,” Lane claimed. “I have no idea why I thought it was going to be dingy and cramped.”  
  
Primula swung around to give her a frown. “Just because it’s small does _not_ make it dingy!”  
  
Belle snickered as Lane lowered her head while murmuring an apology.  
  
“Well now, finding something in your size may be our first challenge dears...” Mirabella hummed, walking further into the store.  
  
Soon enough, the older hobbit woman returned with a long piece of string. She measured both women while listing off lengths to Primula, the blond dashing around to try and find fitting clothes.  
  
“I’m probably going to get verbally abused for this, but could I get trousers instead of a dress?” Lane asked as Mirabella began to measure her legs.  
  
All three hobbits swung around to give her a baffled look causing her to give them a cheesy grin.  
  
“It’s just… it’s snowing outside and I’d rather have my legs wrapped then bare; I’m suffering enough right now,” Lane claimed, reaching down to rub at her bare and chilled legs.  
  
Mirabella and Primula seemed to exchange a silent conversation between each other before Mirabella nodded and began to measure Lane’s inseam.  
  
“You two truly _aren’t_ from around here are you,” the older chuckled, finally standing to go help Primula look for clothes. “Are you from the east?”  
  
“No.” “Yes.”  
  
The two women turned and gave each other panicked looks.  
  
“Yes.” “No.”  
  
“Alright then, keep your secrets,” Primula laughed good naturedly, walking over to Belle to hold up a light purple gown. “Hmm, I’m afraid I may have to make your clothes to fit your sizings...”  
  
“Oh no Primula, we couldn’t possibly ask you to use your materials on us!” Belle quickly claimed.  
  
“Maybe we could get some clothes in Bree?” Lane offered.  
  
“Oh, but Bree is quite a distance from The Shire, and I have all I need here in my store,” Primula continued. “It wouldn’t be a trouble at all, I promise. In fact, I find it exciting to be making clothing for non-hobbit folk~”  
  
Lane and Belle exchanged a set of unsure looks before shrugging and agreeing, Primula bouncing in glee. “I can even try to make you outfits that match your trinkets, oh I’m ever so excited~! Alright, I’ll see if I can find something to keep on your feet for the time being...”  
  
As Primula quickly dashed away from her mother in tow to put away all of their measuring items and stray articles of clothing, Lane gave her friend an examining look.  
  
“I can _not_ believe that you’re still wearing all of that,” Lane snickered noticing the necklace, bracelet and ring that she had always worn back home.  
  
“They were gifts!” Belle huffed, fiddling with the star shaped necklace around her neck with a small glare. “And you’re one to talk, you and all your bling!”  
  
“What can I say, it adds to my charm~” Lane grinned, reaching up to tug her ears out further away from her head with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

  
Belle was about to retort when Mirabella returned with her daughter in tow.  
  
“Did I hear you two say that your trinkets are from friends?” Primula asked with a kind smile, a small pile of what looked like wool and stripes of leather in her arms.  
  
“Well my necklace is from my Grandfather and my ring is is from my grandmother after she passed away. It has a gemstone that represents each female generation from my Great-Grandmother to my little sister.  And then this bracelet Lane got me, has a letter each for one of our close friends,” Belle explained, showing Primula the bracelet.  
  
The hobbit woman simply nodded and gave her a smile. “You’re both very lucky, even if you are lost, it’s nice to be lost with a close friend,” Primula hummed, looking between the two women.  
  
“It’d be nice if _one of us_ wasn’t obsessed with feet though…” Belle snickered, giving her friend a look.  
  
“I’m _not_ obsessed with feet!”  
  
At the mention of feet, three sets of eyes instantly zeroed in on Lane’s socked feet before moving to Belle’s and back to Lane’s.  
  
“Ah yes, feet are average size for men, so maybe when next we go to Bree we can ask the cobbler to fashion you a pair,” Mirabella hummed. “Until then girls, I’m afraid we can only make you a makeshift set.”  
  
Lane and Belle both gave an exasperated sigh but nodded, knowing there wasn’t much they could do about it as hobbits didn’t wear shoes.  
  
With Bilbo’s help, Primula and Mirabelle quickly fashioned a type of small shoe for the girls; using the leather to try and stave off the wet of any melting snow on the outside and using the woolen material for the warm and soft inside. Belle’s were quickly slipped onto her feet as they worked on Lane’s.  
  
“And hey, Primula,” the taller woman hummed, looking down at the blond hobbit carefully wrapping the leather bindings around her wool foot.  
  
The blond looked up with a smile, waiting for the woman to continue.  
  
“By any chance… are you looking for help here?” Lane asked, giving Primula a cheesy smile.  
  
“I’d love to have you help around here, especially in the mid-day when everyone comes out to shop,” Primula beamed. “Do you know how to stitch?”  
  
“I know the basics, but I also happen to be a fast learner,” Lane replied. “And back home I’m known to be… good with my hands…”  
  
Belle’s groan could be heard from across the shop making Lane snicker. Primula meanwhile clapped her hands in glee and nodded, Lane returning her smile.  
  
The makeshift shoes were quickly finished, much to the women’s and their toes elation, stepping out into the snow to find that the cold was the tiniest bit more bearable now that their little piggies wouldn’t freeze. The group left Primula’s store and began walking down the snow-covered dirt road, looking and asking around if they were willing to let Belle work along with them. After getting several firm ‘no’s from the Shirefolk, Mirabella huffed and spun around to look at a dejected Belle, Lane patting her friend on the shoulder in comfort.  
  
“What about your bakery Aunty Mirabella? Now that Ida is with child do you not need a helping hand?” Bilbo suddenly spoke from Lane’s other side.  
  
“Hmm… yes maybe…” Mirabella turned to look at Belle. “How well would you say your skills in the kitchen are my dear?”  
  
“Umm… they’re alright; I haven’t burned any houses down yet,” Belle claimed a small laugh in her tone.  
  
Mirabella nodded and gave her a smile. “That’s fair enough for me, you can come and work with me at the bakery, try your hand at some breads and rolls.”  
  
“Wow really? Thank you so much Lady Mirabella!” Belle cheered, clearly resisting the urge to run up and hug the hobbit.  
  
“No problem at all dear, but please, call me Aunty Mirabella, you as well Lane,” the older hummed.  
  
The two nodded and grinned at each other.  
  
After a few more hours of traversing the market, Bilbo, Belle and Lane made their way back to Bag End.  
  
"It seems we have a straggler," Bilbo chuckled, looking back down the hill.

Belle turned to see Lane huffing and puffing as she slowly managed to climb her way up the snowy dirt road of the hill.

"C'mon Lane! I'm heavier than you and I'm doing better!" Belle called out, her fists on her hips in a scolding manner. “What happened to all that _rigorous exercising_ you always talked about?”

"I’ma standard, _not_ an automatic. And rolling hills and rolling sheets are NOT the same thing," Lane panted as she continued forward. "Is this how Po felt... in the peacock prince's fifty floor tower? Where's my... strong rhino guard to carry me up... the last twentysomething flights?"

Belle rolled her eyes at her friend’s overdramatizing as Bilbo continued to watch with a confused look on his face.

"Po?" He questioned, turning to look at the woman beside him.

"Don't ask," Belle sighed.


	5. Integrating Into Society

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slowly treading forward

Lane rolled over under her blankets and blearily opened her eyes, releasing a sleepy groan when the light of the sun shining through the window blinded her. Just as she pulled the blanket up over her head, there was a light knocking on the door.  
  
“Miss Isabella, Miss Lane, it would be best to get up now before Primula and Aunty Mirabella come and fetch you themselves,” Bilbo’s voice drifted through the door.  
  
Lane gave another groan but sighed and sat up, the blanket still covering her head.  
  
“Yeah, we’re up…” she called back with a tired groan.  
  
Lane faintly heard Bilbo shuffle away from the door and reached up to pull the blanket off of her head, green hair sticking up in every which direction as she rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand. With another small groan, she blindly extended her hand to find her glasses and place them on her nose before managing to hoist herself off of the floor and stretch her hands above her head, her back giving a satisfactory crack as she hummed.  
  
“Oi you log, up,” she huffed, kicking her foot out to nudge the lump under the blankets.  
  
Belle gave a pitiful groan as she wiggled about, clearly not liking her wakeup call _nor_ waking up in the first place. The smaller woman slowly sat up with her eyes still closed and her hair a tangled mess, Lane walking over to the small chair on the other side of the room where their clothes from the day before lay on.  
  
As Belle managed to haul herself up off of the floor, Lane picked up her shorts and began to shimmy them up her legs.  
  
“Here, catch,” Lane hummed, tossing Belle’s clothes over her shoulder in the smaller’s general direction.  
  
Belle’s shirt landed over her head and she released a small squeak before pulling it off of her head in time for Lane to tug her donated tunic(though it was haphazardly made from an old bedsheet the night before by the two women) over her head.  
  
“Really? You can’t even turn around?” Belle huffed, quickly turning away to give her friend some privacy.  
  
Lane simply rolled her eyes and tossed her friend her pants before catching herself in the nearby mirror. She pulled the corners of her eyes up slightly in an attempt to make them feel less heavy and pouted at the small bags that darkened the undersides of them from behind her thin burgundy framed glasses. Giving her cheeks a light slap, she grinned.  
  
“Dayum you sexy thang~ how _you_ doin’~?” Lane purred, giving her reflection a wink.  
  
“Are you flirting with yourself again?” Belle laughed, not turning around after fighting with her shirt.  
  
“Of course I am! If it were possible I’d totally date myself; I’m quite the package you know~” Lane huffed, raising her nose in the air while looking over at her friend out of the corner of her eye, catching Belle roll her eyes.Lane picked up her bra, the small pack of cigarettes falling out making Lane beam. “It’s a _date_!” she sang, quickly pulling one out and sticking it in her mouth before putting her bra on and stuffing the rest of the pack down the middle and throwing on her halter top. When Belle too was fully dressed, she turned towards her friend as Lane made her way towards the door, the taller leading the way to Bilbo's kitchen.  
  
“Put that away, it’s rude to smoke in your host’s home!” Belle scolded, reaching for Lane’s cigarette.  
  
“Fuckin’ says who?” Lane scoffed, lifting the cancer stick out of her friend’s reach.  
  
“Lane!”  
  
“FINE!” the taller barked, stuffing it back in the pack with the others. “I’m _smoking it_ later though and you can’t say a fucking _word_!”  
  
Belle rolled her eyes as Lane made her way into the kitchen, both women careful not to hit their head on any low-hanging lights or doorframes.  
  
"Ah! Good morning Miss Isabella, Mi-Lane," Bilbo greeted as he continued to set plates out for breakfast.  
  
"Good morning Bilbo," Lane greeted with a small snicker, lightly smacking the hobbit on the rump as she walked behind him.  
  
Bilbo gave a small squeak and jump but remembering her words from yesterday, simply inhaled and continued to set out their meal as the two women sat down.  
  
"Did you two sleep well last night?" He asked, pouring the two some tea.  
  
"A little restless, but other than that I slept like a log," Lane hummed, giving her tea a pensive look.  
  
"The blankets that you gave us were _very_ warm too, so it was nice and cozy," Belle hummed, shifting her cup away slightly so that Lane couldn't add hers to it again.  
  
Bilbo smiled and nodded as he took the pan off of the fire, placing the bacon and eggs on three plates and placing them on the table. "I hope I cooked them to your liking~"  
  
The two women thanked their host before turning to their food, Bilbo turning around once again to stir the remaining pot over the fire.  
  
“Hey,” Belle began, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll take your tea if you take my eggs.”  
  
Lane’s fork froze in her mouth, her eyes slowly sliding to give her friend a smirk. Belle simply rolled her eyes and offered her friend her cup, Lane quickly swallowing her food before pouring her tea into Belle’s cup, Belle pushing her eggs onto her friend’s plate.  
  
Bilbo began to turn back around and they quickly sat properly again, Belle quickly picking up a piece of bacon and biting into it as Lane shoveled some more eggs onto her fork.  
  
"Mmm! Very tasty!" Lane hummed, giving the hobbit a smile.  
  
Belle quickly nodded in agreement as a smile of his own graced Bilbo's features. The hobbit finished making his own plate and sitting across from the two.  
  
After breakfast was finished the two women offered to do the dishes as Bilbo had cooked for them. Though the hobbit was against it at first, he soon conceded when they insisted.  
  
"So do you remember where Mirabella's bakery is in town?" Lane asked, taking the plate from her friend to dry it.  
  
"I'm pretty sure I do, it's not too far away from Primula's shop," Belle hummed, handing her friend another wet plate. "Do _you_ remember where _Primula's_ store is?"  
  
"Yeah, it's right beside the butcher’s shop, I remember Primula complaining about the smell _contaminating_ her stitching," Lane replied with a laugh.  
  
Belle giggled as well and handed her friend the last plate before standing from the wash basin and wiping the sweat from her brow. Lane quickly dashed outside, muttering about “needing a fag”, leaving Belle to put away all of the cutlery and plates that the taller woman had dried. Just as she finished up and was heading for the front door, she caught Bilbo making his way over.  
  
"I must go into town to talk to the Dane, so I shall walk with you," Bilbo hummed, a pleasant smile on his face.  
  
Belle nodded with a smile as Bilbo opened the door and exited first, Belle following behind him, careful not to hit her head off of the doorway. Just as Belle straightened, she caught sight of her friend tossing something to the ground and quickly stamping on it with the heel of her foot while hissing in pain as a small cinder got through the leather bindings.  
  
"Ow! Fuckin damnit!" Lane barked, jumping slightly and holding her woolen foot in pain. "Never before have I missed having shoes so much," she growled.  
  
"Aunty Mirabella said yesterday that the next time she goes to Bree she would take us with her to talk to the cobbler," Belle hummed, understanding her friend's pain, quite literally. “And I think you should start to watch your language, you could accidentally offend the wrong person-”  
  
“Well fuck them if I do,” Lane spat. “I’m not changing my ways just so people feel more comfortable around me, they don’t like what they get well piss off, no refunds.”  
  
Belle sighed and shook her head at her friend and her well known temper, nodding for her friend to follow along with her and their host as they made their way further into town.  
  
By the time the trio got into Tuckburough, Lane was eager to enter Primula's clothing store and take the small stones out of the soles of her makeshift shoes.  
  
"Your feet truly aren't made to be bare are they?" Primula giggled as the taller continued.  
  
Lane simply pouted and rubbed the bottom of her woolen feet before moving over to join her friend near the back of the store.  
  
“I thought we could start you and Miss Isabella’s clothes today; any preference in colour?” Primula asked with a hum.  
  
"Well, Izz likes purple… I’m not really particular to any colour honestly..."  
  
“Very well then, let’s see if I have any fabric… and _enough_ of it…and something _warm_ for you poor things...” the blond hummed.  
  
“I _am_ sorry Primula, we’re probably gonna use up all of your supplies because we’re so… big…” Lane sighed.  
  
“That’s alright, like I said yesterday, I find a bit of a thrill in making clothing for larger peoples~” Primula laughed, finally finding a small bolt of light purple material.  
  
"Alright, come over here and we can start on Miss Isabella’s clothing. Do you know how?" Primula hummed, leading the way.  
  
Lane followed after her while slowly nodding. “I know the basics, but I’ll admit that I’ve never made a shirt or anything from flat fabric,” she hummed.  
  
Primula nodded and pulled a stool out near the back of the store, motioning for the taller woman to sit, Lane doing so while Primula brought over another stool to sit beside her.  
  
“Alright, so the stitch that you would use for this is called an overlock stitch, this one,” Primula began lifting her sleeve slightly to show the taller an example. “Have you ever done one before?”  
  
Lane shook her head causing Primula to giggle before placing the bolt on the table in front of them.  
  
For several hours, Primula taught Lane the necessary stitching techniques and how to properly do them. Though this ended with Lane’s finger nearly being bled dry she had poked herself so often, Primula was convinced that she was showing excellent progress, therefore the woman chose to keep her mouth shut from complaining too much.  
  
“I’m going to go down the street a little and get us some ale,” Primula hummed, standing from her stool. “Keep going, alright?”  
  
Lane nodded, not taking her eyes away from the fabric she was attempting to turn into a set of trousers for herself made of a nice dark fabric.  
  
The hobbit gave another small giggle before exiting the store, Lane never raising her head. After a few minutes of sitting on her stool, Lane heard the telltale sound of bare feet walking across the floor, raising her head just in time to catch a male hobbit coming around the corner of the coats.  
  
“Oh! You must be Miss Lane~!” the hobbit laughed, his full belly jiggling with the sound. “Primula’s told me much about you.”  
  
“Umm, yeah. But you don’t need to use any formalities; I’m nothing close to a lady or miss,” Lane grinned.  
  
“Well alright then, if you insist. Oh, but I’m being terribly rude! My name is Drogo Baggins, Primula’s my wife,” the hobbit introduced, offering Lane his hand along with a smile.  
  
Lane couldn’t help the grin that stretched across her face, nodding and shaking his hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Drogo.”  
  
“So what has she got you doing while she’s off galavanting about?” Drogo asked, stepping to the side slightly to try and catch a peek at the fabric on the table.  
  
Lane hummed and pulled it towards her to show the hobbit, Drogo letting out a chuckle. “Bless Primula and her everlasting patience, but I think I scared her off with my shit needlework…” the woman sighed with a small pout.  
  
Drogo seemed a little taken back at Lane’s less than ladylike speech but released a round of jovial laughter before stepping forward and patting the pouting woman on the shoulder. “Nonsense, if Primula can put up with me, then I have no doubt that she’ll be back for you,” he grinned.  
  
Lane found the hobbit’s grin infectious, one of her own stretching across her lips as she nodded at him.  
  
“Drogo? You’d better not be bothering my newest helper!” Primula huffed as she walked into the store and towards the two.  
  
“Bother? Now where would you have gotten a notion like that from?” Drogo scoffed, giving Lane a grin as his wife walked by.  
  
The woman couldn’t help the snicker that escaped her lips as the couple’s haughty facades quickly melted away and they shared a chaste kiss.  
  
“Have you tried the ale here yet Lane?” Primula asked, placing one of the two mugs down in front of the woman.  
  
“No… at least I don’t _think_ I have…” Lane hummed, looking down at the amber liquid. “Though if it’s anything like Budweiser then I’m not sure if I’ll like it…”  
  
“Bud… wiser? I’ve never heard of a drink such as that,” Drogo claimed as Lane took the mug in her hands.  
  
“It’s… a _type_ of ale where I come from. There are tons of different kinds, but they all basically taste the same, just come in different bottles,” Lane explained, giving the ale a small sniff before taking a sip. The moment the amber liquid hit her tongue she began coughing and sputtering, Primula and Drogo letting out a loud round of laughter, Drogo quickly taking the mug from her before she dropped it.  
  
“I suppose it may not be for everyone, ale,” he laughed, taking a large gulp out of the mug.  
  
“I think it’d be an _acquired_ taste,” Lane coughed, giving the couple a wry grin.  
  
Primula giggled and patted Lane on the back as Drogo finished off the ale.  
  
Drogo didn’t stay for long, simply relaying to his wife that his mother wished to have the two over for dinner that night before bidding the two ladies farewell.  
  
“Well, you’re definitely improving,” Primula hummed, holding up the finished trousers with wool insides. “I’d say that you’ll be well on your way to becoming a seamstress by the end of the week~”  
  
“Thanks Primula, but you don’t have to lie to make me feel better,” Lane laughed, still nursing her injured finger.  
  
“Alright fine, you’ll be on your way at the end of the month, but you _do_ have potential so I’m making that my goal with you,” the hobbit huffed, giving Lane a challenging look.  
  
Lane chuckled and rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything else.  
  
“Alright, now go try them on~!” Primula beamed, quickly pushing the tunic and trousers into the woman’s hands and then towards the back changing area.  
  
Lane quickly did as she was told, peeling her dirty clothing off and throwing it in a random corner before pulling on her newly made tunic and trousers. When she walked around the corner, Primula was instantly buzzing around her, pulling here and there before giving the woman an approving nod.  
  
“Well? How do they feel?” the hobbit asked eagerly.  
  
“I definitely don’t feel like a popsicle anymore, and they’re not too tight or anything, though I _am_ very torn about my poor socks,” Lane pouted, holding up the mud-caked material. “These were my favourite ones, and it took me ten minutes to find them that morning; all for naught~!”  
  
Primula giggled and offered to take the dirty clothes and quickly placed them behind the tiny counter. Lane simply chuckled and helped her friend to fold up the clothing that had been strewn about across the table and floor around them. After fixing the disarray they had created, Primula next taught Lane how to categorize and sort all of the clothing in the shop; first by type, then fabric then colour. For a few more hours the two ran the store together, Primula also helping Lane to help the hobbits that would come in seeking something to buy. Many of the hobbits were a little stunned at seeing this outsider galavanting around the store, but if they had any ill thoughts about it, none of them openly voiced it.  
  
Though that didn’t stop a few of them, especially the female hobbits, from whispering amongst themselves.  
  
“Her hair matches that horrid carpet in your husband’s study!”  
  
“And wearing trousers! How unladylike!”  
  
“I heard the Bilbo found her and that strange friend of hers out on his property trying to steal his petunias!”  
  
“Oh, how wretched!”  
  
Lane was just about ready to reach through the clothing rack and throttle the nearest gossipy hobbit when Primula appeared by her side and placed a gentle hand on her arm.  
  
“Well, I think that the two of us deserve a nice break, how about we go see how mother and Isabella are doing? We can bring her her clothing as well~” Primula offered with a kind and knowing smile.  
  
“Yeah… sure Primula,” Lane muttered, a scowl still present on her features.  
  
Primula let out a small hum and quickly went to fetch the clothing they had made for Belle, took Lane’s hand and led her out of the store, Lane not able to help herself from glaring at the trio of female hobbits as they passed by.  
  
The two walked for a few minutes down the road until Mirabella’s bakery came into view, the chimney smoking up a storm. The two entered and their noses were instantly hit by the scent of freshly baked bread.  
  
“Oh my god, I’ve died and gone to heaven,” Lane hummed, a content smile stretched across her lips.  
  
“And you’re only _smelling_ it, wait until you actually _taste_ it; mother makes the finest bread and pastries in all the Shire,” Primula beamed, leading the way further into the bakery.  
  
“I thought I heard you two out here chatting,” Mirabella laughed, stepping out from one of the back doors. “You’re just in time, we’re pulling out a fresh loaf this very moment~”  
  
“Oh I can’t wait! Shall we take a seat Lane?” Primula beamed, taking the taller’s hand again and leading her over to one of the small nearby tables.  
  
Mirabella quickly ran back to where she had come from as the two sat around the table. Not even a few minutes later, Belle came out of the door with a loaf of fresh bread cut up onto a platter.  
  
“I hope it tastes alright, it’s the first one I’ve made since coming here, with Aunty’s help of course,” the woman hummed, placing the platter on the table between the two.  
  
Lane and Primula both reached over to take a piece of the bread and blow on it a few times for it to cool before taking a bite.  
  
“Duuuuude!! Izz this is _delicious_! Why did you never make shit this good back home for me?!” Lane laughed, quickly devouring the rest of her slice.  
  
Belle couldn’t help the beaming smile that quickly spread across her face, especially when Primula agreed with her friend’s words, both of them taking another slice of bread as Mirabella came out from the back.  
  
“You see my dear? I told you that it would turn out alright~” the hobbit woman laughed, patting Belle on the shoulder with a kind smile.  
  
“Yes you did, sorry for not believing you Aunty,” Belle smiled, giving the hobbit woman a grateful nod.  
  
“You! Try a slice of your mastery of the kitchen! I demand it!” Lane laughed, taking two more slices of the bread and holding one up for her friend to take.  
  
Belle laughed and took the bread slice and bit into it, her smile growing as she bounced on the balls of her feet slightly causing the other three to laugh.  
  
“And this is when it’s only the bread, I bet that if you find the right spread it will be absolutely heavenly~” Primula sang, giving Belle an encouraging nod.  
  
“Hmm, I never thought about what type of spread should go on it…” Belle hummed.  
  
“Well, we’ll have plenty of opportunities to try spreads later, Odo Proudfoot and his wife are coming to pick up a few loaves in a few minutes so we should go and check to make sure that they’re ready,” Mirabella claimed, patting Belle on the arm.  
  
“And here Miss Isabella, these are for you,” Primula beamed, quickly standing and handing Belle the clothes. “We made them for you just today. Hopefully we’ll be able to make a few more outfits for both of you in the future as well~”  
  
Belle quickly voiced her thanks to the blond and her friend and stuffed the rest of her slice into her mouth before giving Lane and Primula another muffled thank you and following the older hobbit into the back.  
  
“Well? Maybe we should head back as well. See if we can make a few more tunics for you two before calling it a day,” Primula hummed, giving Lane a smile.  
  
The taller nodded and followed Primula to her feet, the blond hobbit leading the way towards the door of the bakery. Before exiting, Lane spun back around and grabbed a few more slices of the bread on the table, stuffing a whole one into her mouth while she hide the other behind her back, Primula releasing a giggle.  
  
“You may not be a hobbit Lane, but you most _definitely_ have an insatiable hunger just like one.”  



	6. Woman's Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well now there's a bloody problem

**  
**Before the sun was fully over the hills in the distance, Belle groaned and rolled around under her blanket, feeling tender and sore along her lower back. Figuring it was just because she’d been working a lot at the bakery, maybe doing too much bending, she shrugged her shoulders and tried to brush it off.  
  
The smaller woman glanced at her friend; Lane was still in a deep sleep and Belle knew if she woke Lane before it was time to get ready, Lane would kill her.  Belle - being as quiet as possible - left the room and headed for the bathroom; she really had to pee.  
  
As Belle went to the washroom, she looked down and took in a sharp breath; on her under garments clearly visible was blood. Belle blinked, let out a small whimper and then cursed to herself, what was she going to use?  
  
Belle looked around the bathroom and spotted a towel, part of her was already regretting it, but she needed something even just for a moment. She placed the towel between her legs, pulling her undergarments up to hold it in place. She poked her head out of the doorway and looked around; no sign of Bilbo.  
  
Making her way back to the bedroom she shared with Lane, Belle tried to think. What was she going to do? She closed the bedroom door, leaned over her sleeping friend and poked Lane, the taller giving a mix between a groan and a hiss.  
  
“Lane?”  
  
“Ffffffcck ooooooofffffffff...” Lane groaned.  
  
“Lane, I have a problem…” Belle whispered.  
  
“I don’t want tea,” Lane grumbled. “Go drink the shit yourself.”  
  
Belle sighed heavily, leaving Lane to fall back to sleep and sat there for a moment until a cramp wracked her sides, causing her to make a face. The smaller woman got back up, trying to think of what she could do, who could she go to?When Belle reached the kitchen and found Bilbo enjoying his tea, she felt terrible for what she was about to do to him.  
  
Bilbo gave Belle a smile, “Good morning, Miss Isabella.”  
  
“Good Morning, Bilbo…”  
  
“You are up rather early today,” Bilbo noted, “Could you not sleep?”  
  
Belle gave Bilbo a tiny smile, “I slept fine...I’ve um...run into some lady problems…”  
  
Bilbo had begun to take a sip of tea and nearly spat it back out, “Lady problems? Is this not something you could talk to Mis...Lane about?”  
  
“Unfortunately, trying to wake up Lane this early is like poking a sleeping bear...” Belle replied carefully. “And I’m not sure it’s something Lane would have an answer to anyways…”  
  
“I understand.”  
  
“I need um...pads…”  
  
“Pads?” Bilbo looked confused. “What are pads?”  
  
Belle realized that Middle Earth probably didn’t have any pads, “Never mind...uh… I need something for my cycle,” Belle stated awkwardly and Bilbo placed his tea cup down with wide eyes.  
  
“Uh…Cycle?”  
  
This was getting weird and super awkward for Belle, she was going to have to come out and say it wasn’t she? She sighed and made a face, “I uh...you know how ladies bleed every month…”  
  
Bilbo lifted up a hand, his face growing red, “No! No no no...I think I understand.”  
  
Belle could feel her face heating up as well, “I’m sorry Bilbo...I just don’t know who to turn to…”  
  
Bilbo looked thoughtful, “Perhaps you could talk to Aunt Mirabella?”  
  
Belle felt a bit of relief run through her, “You’re right!  I can talk to Aunty. I wonder if she’d be awake now…”  
  
Just as Belle was thinking of heading out and going to see Mirabella, she looked at Bilbo once more, “I’m sorry...I didn’t want to bother you with this.”  
  
Bilbo gave her an awkward smile, “It is fine. Do not worry about it.”  
  
Belle gave him a gentle smile once more, “I’m going to go see Mirabella, let Lane know if she wakes before I get back…”  
  
Bilbo nodded and Belle made her way to Mirabella’s bakery. The sun was just rising in the east, bright and promising. Hobbits were moving about and beginning their day and as she walked by, a few began to whisper, as they normally did if they saw either of the women.  
  
Mirabella’s bakery came into few, the older Hobbit outside sweeping the front stoop. When Mirabella spotted Belle, she waved at the older woman and Mirabella waved back.  Belle smiled brightly as her insides felt like they were being torn, “Good Morning, Aunty Mirabella.”  
  
“Isabella, you are here earlier than expected,” Mirabella noted, “Everything alright?”  
  
“I have a bit of a predicament and was hoping you could help me find a solution...” Belle stated.  
  
Mirabella motioned for Belle to follow her into the bakery, headed for the cabinets back towards the baking area, “Are you thirsty dear?  I’ll make some tea for you.”  
  
“Thank you, Aunty.”Once the tea was made, Mirabella sat across from Belle and the women sat in silence for a little bit.  
  
“So, what is this predicament that ails you dear?”  
  
“I have a... lady problem,” Belle admitted embarrassed, “I am having my...um...bleeding month?”  
  
Mirabella nodded but remained silent, waiting for Belle to continue.  
  
“And well…it’s just... back home we use something called pads…”  
  
“Pads?” Mirabella’s brow furrowed, “What are these pads?”  
  
“They are used during a woman’s bleeding time,” Belle frowned, “It helps to stave off the mess of… getting blood everywhere and we usually wear it in our undergarments for… added protection I suppose you could say?”  
  
“Well I am afraid we do not have these pads that you and your kin use dear,” Mirabella hummed, “The best I can offer is what we hobbit women use, which is a reusable cloth…”  
  
Belle frowned and sighed heavily, “Um...How would I…”  
  
Mirabella chuckled, “I will give you a few but you essentially change it and wash the old one so you can reuse it,” Mirabella explained and then added once she looked at Belle, “Nothing to be ashamed of dear…”  
  
Belle had tears in her eyes, some escaping and falling down her cheeks, “I’m not ashamed,” Belle sniffed, wiping at her eyes, “I just feel super stressed out and lost, I’m not from here and things are different compared to back home, so I’m relieved to have someone to turn to.”  
  
Mirabella reached over and patted Belle’s hand, “That is alright dear, I am happy to help you.”  
  
Belle sniffed, giving Mirabella a gentle smile, happy she had someone she could rely on when she was feeling out of sorts.  A few hours later, Belle returned to Bag End with a few reusable cloths, and a book on herbs. As Belle had been sitting with Mirabella, the woman remembered that Middle Earth didn’t have heating pads or advil either. Belle had sat there lost in thought, trying to figure out ways to lessen the discomfort and pain.  
  
That’s when it hit her; she remembered that whenever she didn’t have a heating pad, she would heat a cloth and place it on her back. She also knew a little about herbs from cooking and knew that some herbs were made into essential oils, so she wanted to read about them more. When Mirabella offered to get her a few cloths, Belle had asked her if she’d known someone with a herbal book.  
  
Mirabella had chuckled and disappeared into the kitchen returning a few moments later holding a rather large book. With a smile, Mirabella had placed the book down on the table in front of Belle and told her it was the hobbit’s old herbal book, and as she didn’t refer to it often anymore, Belle could borrow it.  
  
As Belle entered through the round door of Bag End, she could make out Lane’s voice calling out from somewhere else in the house.  
  
“And where the fuck have you been?! I thought we were going to hang out today?”  
  
Only a moment later, Lane rounded the corner and noticed the items in the smaller woman’s arms.  
  
“What’s all this?”  
  
Belle looked around; she wanted to try and spare Bilbo from another awkward “girl talk”, especially after what she did to him this morning. She moved everything to one arm, grabbed Lane by the hand and dragged her to their bedroom. Lane made a few sounds of indignation, especially when her head bumped against the doorframe, as Belle let go of her and turned to close the door behind them.  
  
“Usually I like being bought a drink before I’m dragged off to a secluded corner...” Lane grumbled.  
  
“I may have freaked Bilbo out,” Belle admitted, ignoring Lane’s comment.  
  
“Without my consent?” Lane said her eyes widening. “Fuck you, that’s _my_ job.”  
  
“Well I…” Belle sighed heavily, “You were sleeping and I had no idea who to turn to...I was beginning to panic. I started my period and I needed something…”  
  
“You asked Bilbo for pads?” Lane asked surprised and then began to laugh, “Oh my god...I can see the look on his face now…”  
  
Belle felt her face going red, “I had no choice!  You told me to go drink tea when I tried to wake you up! So I asked Bilbo what to do…”  
  
Lane was still laughing, “And then what?  He gave you a towel?”  
  
“No...I took one, so I owe him one now…” Belle admitted, “He encouraged me to go to a lady, to Aunty Mirabella. We talked for a bit and she gave me some washable cloths and a book on herbs.”  
  
“Herbs?”  
  
“I want to learn about herbs I can use to help my bloating, pain, and swelling…” Belle explained, “We don’t have advil, so I need options…”  
  
Lane gave her a look and shook her head, Belle made a face, “You laugh...but these herbs are going to help us both sooner or later.”  
  
“As long as it’s not tea.”  
  
“Oh, come on!” Belle wrinkled her face making a disapproving face, “It’ll help you, I swear!”  
  
“I’m not drinking any fucking grass water,” Lane argued, “That’s not happening Izz.”  
  
“I’m not saying I’m going to make tea, I might make something else,” Belle stated, “Like...a salve!”  
  
The women bantered back and forth for sometime, Belle giving up after a while because she knew she wouldn’t win this one. She would just have to come up with options that work for both women, which meant a lot of experiments on her part.  
  
Belle spent the rest of the day reading the book, looking at the different herbs that could be used for several different things, including tea. Belle snickered as she closed the book, Lane looking over at the smaller woman.  
  
“What’s so funny?”  
  
“Nothing,” Belle stated, “I think it’s almost dinner time, let’s go see if Bilbo needs a hand shall we?”  
  
Belle got up, opened their bedroom door and headed for the kitchen. She couldn’t help but take a few breaths to relax herself, she didn’t see Bilbo when she returned, so she hadn’t spoken to him since that morning. Belle could feel it in her gut; tonight would be an awkward dinner.  
  
Sure enough, when she turned into the kitchen, Lane right behind her, Bilbo was finishing setting the table with their dinner. Upon hearing them enter, the hobbit raised his head and, much to Belle’s delight and amazement, simply greeted them both with a smile, asking if they’d like butter on their toast.  
  
As Belle sat down in her seat, she winced at the pain in her lower stomach, but otherwise managed to remain placid. Maybe dinner _wouldn’t_ be an awkward affair.  
  
“So I heard you two had an interesting conversation this morning~”  
  
Nevermind.  
  
As Bilbo’s ears turned a deep shade of red, Belle turned to glare at her friend, Lane having a shit-eating grin stretched across her lips.  
  
“I’m sure that’s not a conversation to have at the _dinner table_ Lane, nor is it one I’m sure poor Bilbo wants to remember,” Belle snapped.  
  
Bilbo jumped at the harsh tone in the smaller woman’s voice while Lane’s smirk seemed to only grow. This both confused and irritated Belle, especially when Lane tilted her head back and howled like a wolf, and not too quietly either.  
  
“I thought _I_ was supposed to be the snappy bitch with… what did you call her? Aunt Flow?” Lane laughed, picking up her glass of milk and taking a sip.  
  
Belle simply muttered to herself and violently stabbed her fork into her dinner.  
  
“I’m sure… it’s nothing to be upset about Miss Isabella,” Bilbo stammered, his eyes still trained on his plate as he cut into his fish. “From what I understand it’s a completely natural occurrence. And don’t feel any worry about this morning; I chose to see it in the past.”  
  
Belle stopped sawing at her own fish and raised her head to give Bilbo a grateful smile, though he didn’t catch it as his own eyes remained down. Her smile reverted back to a small scowl when Lane ‘woofed’ in the seat next to her.  
  
“Oh just you wait missy; last time I checked you’ll get yours soon enough,” the smaller woman hissed.  
  
Lane’s grin didn’t lessen and instead winked down at her friend from over her glasses. “And when that time comes you better be finished building that bomb shelter, because you _know_ how _I_ get~”  
  
Belle was about to retort when she _did_ remember the last time she had been around when Lane had been in that week; it had been agreed amongst their friend circle to never be mentioned again.  
  
Poor Bilbo.  
  
-=-  
  
The next few days passed with Belle all but doing a Middle Earth reenactment of Godzilla. She felt massive with the bloating, her mood swings had her ready to breathe fire, and she found herself getting the strangest cravings she'd had in awhile--cravings for foods she could no longer get. Belle found, when she wasn’t helping Mirabella at the bakery, she was hiding out in either the bedroom or outside away from others. When Belle would relax outside soaking in the sun, she found herself reading the book on herbs she had borrowed from Mirabella. She politely asked Bilbo for some paper and ink to take notes and he gave her a small note pad. She took as many notes as she could from the book, also making a list of different things she might be able to make from the herbs. She wasn’t a healer or a professional cook, but maybe some of it would be helpful.  
  
So when Belle’s cycle finally came to an end after a _mildly_ stressful week for the residents at Bag End, there was a most obvious sigh of relief. And of course, now that Belle’s mind was clear of the “Aunt Flow Fog”, she tried to think of a gentle way to break the _very_ noticeable news -to her at least- to poor Bilbo.  
  
Lane was next.  
  
While Belle seldom had any warning aside from keeping track with a calendar when her cycle would start, Lane tended to show… signs. The amount of snark and snappy comments flying from the taller’s lips increased and intensified in ferocity when she got irritated over insignificant things like Belle accidentally wearing her shirt backwards at breakfast. Belle had learned the hard way many years ago to treat the snark with gentle touches; shuddering when she remember one of their male friends making a comment on it and Lane knocking out three of his teeth…  
  
As such, Belle opted to mostly leave Lane be for the first two days that the “angry Lane” surfaced, advising Bilbo to do the same, though probably for the rest of the week.  
  
Bilbo didn’t argue nor ask questions.  
  
After three days began Pain Day as Lane had dubbed it, Belle taking it upon herself to finally offer her friend something she had been working on with the herbs she’d gotten from town. Lane had huffed at the notion at first, claiming that she wasn’t in enough pain to swallow “fucking grass flavoured water”. Belle, while irritated that the woman’s stubbornness even extended into her period, thought better than to voice her thoughts and instead offered to try and make something akin to a warming salve for her instead and actually got a “Sure… thanks” for that.  
  
Ten points to Gryffindor.  
  
The next day saw a _very_ irritable Lane locking herself in the bathroom, muttering something about “excuse me while I go fucking anemic”. Belle managed to coax her friend through the door to let her to ask Mirabella for more cloths or at least where they could get some of their own. Lane agreed and thanked her friend which left Belle to set out into town and return about half an hour later with more clothes in her arms and well wishes from both Mirabella and Primula.  
  
The day after had Lane back on her feet and outside Bag End, but Belle knew better than to be fooled; it was all a ruse.  
  
“Lane how many times do I have to tell you not to kill the gossipy hobbits,” Belle chastised.  
  
“Ask me if I fucking care!” Lane barked back, pulling against her friend’s grip while glaring at the group scuttling in the opposite direction. “I’m gonna fucking skin them and use their hair for a shag carpet!”  
  
“OK, first of all, that’s _really_ disgusting and I didn’t need that image in my head, and second of all-would you _stop_!?”  
  
Lane’s eyes swung away from the petite brunette hobbit that had been walking by and looked down at her friend.  
  
“What? She was cute!”  
  
“I’m getting friggin whiplash from you woman!” Belle complained.  
  
“Then be a good bitch and find me a bone.”  
  
“I am _NOT_ your bitch!”  
  
Lane grinned and threw her head back to release a loud howl, Belle quickly jumping forward to try and clamp a hand over her friend’s mouth as many hobbits turned to see what was going on, though many of them simply shook their heads at the two’s shenanigans.  
  
After managing to bribe her friend with silence for food, Belle managed to drag Lane back to Bag End when they had finished shopping with Lane only whistling at two more hobbits along the way.  
  
By the time the trio were sitting down for dinner, Belle felt more drained than her _own_ week. They were silent throughout the majority of the meal until Belle caught Lane’s thoughtful eyes glued on their humble host.  
  
Belle had a bad feeling she knew where this was going…  
  
“Bilbo, are you proud of your package?” Lane suddenly asked.  
  
“LANE!!” Belle shrieked.  
  
Bilbo looked up from his plate and gave her a quizzical look. “Excuse me, my what?”  
  
“Your package. You know, like your di-”  
  
“DIMPLES! She _means_ your dimples!” Belle quickly interjected, panic written all over her face. “Now come along Lane, no need to bother poor Bilbo with such strange questions-”  
  
“But Izz I’m so hor-”  
  
“HORRIBLY sorry for taking up your precious time Bilbo! So sorry! Let’s _go_ Lane!”“But-”“Nope let’s go!  See you later Bilbo!”  
  
“But Izzzzzzzz!”  
  
Bilbo watched the smaller of the two women pull the taller out of her seat and out of the kitchen, Lane complaining all the while. Looking at the two abandoned plates on the opposite end of the table he felt his nose twitch slightly.  
  
“Are you two going to finish your food?”  



	7. Making Due

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo is a saint

Days quickly turned into weeks for Lane and Belle, the two women managing to become accustomed to the life of a "hobbit" quite fast. The vast majority of the Shirefolk all but leered at the two women when they passed by on the roads, not sure what to make of the two, especially after the back-to-back “Aunt Flow” incidents from their first two weeks. Primula and Mirabella continued to teach the women a few things while they were at work, but overall, the two women found that the most of their enjoyment was when they spent time with their host.  


"It's called _what_?" Bilbo gawked, watching as Lane laid out the huge fabric square on the floor.

" _Twister_ , Bilbo. It's fun, you'll see," Belle laughed as Lane finished flattening the rug out.

"And this is a game that you play from your town?" The hobbit asked.

"Yep! Think of it as a way to let loose, quite literally," Lane laughed, finally standing and walking over to the wooden spinner her and Belle had created. "If you end up not having fun then you can spin and I can play with Izz instead."

Bilbo nodded as Belle stepped onto the rug, Lane sitting on the floor and holding the spinner level in her lap.

"Alright..." The taller woman spun the thin wooden needle and waited for it to stop. "Izz, right foot yellow."

The shorter woman easily put her right foot on the yellow circle and Lane spun the needle again.

"Put your left foot on a red circle Bilbo," Lane hummed, looking up at the hobbit over the frames of her glasses.

"This isn't so bad," Bilbo hummed, doing as he was told.

"The game just started Bilbo, wait until we get further into it then you'll be the personal witness to the chaos," Belle laughed.

"It's especially bad when you have more than four people playing too," Lane snickered, spinning the needle again. "Right hand green.”

The trio continued to play until Bilbo bowed out, saying he couldn't _possibly_ reach _under_ Belle to try and get to the green circle.

"Oh bah, you ninny. Fine, let's start over and you can spin instead," Lane laughed, standing from the chair.

Bilbo nodded and took the spinner from the woman as Lane walked over to the rug to stand beside Belle.

"So I just... spin?" Bilbo asked, pushing the needle with his finger.

The two women snickered as Bilbo watched the needle spin around a few times before it rested on one of the sections.

"Umm... Left hand blue?" Bilbo hummed.

Belle stepped forward and crouched down to place her left hand on the rug, Lane grinning and reaching down slightly to smack her friend on the rump.

"EEK! Lane!" Belle barked, spinning around slightly to glare back at her friend.

"Oh come on, it was right there, what did you _expect_ me to do?" Lane laughed.

Bilbo rolled his eyes at the two's banter and spun the needle once again. "Left foot red."

The two women were soon greatly resembling a pretzel as Bilbo continued to spin the needle on the spinner, Lane's right leg twisted around Belle's left and the taller woman stretched over top of her friend's body in an attempt to reach the faraway green circle for her right hand.

"Bilbo spin faster!" Belle squeaked, feeling her arms beginning to shake under her weight.

The hobbit quickly did as he was told, spinning the needle. "Left foot blue," he said, not able to hold back the smile at the two tangled bodies.

Belle grunted and slowly managed to slide her foot back so that her toes rested on the blue circle.

"Lane, right foot red," Bilbo hummed, already looking forward to what was about to happen.

"What?!" Lane yelped, twisting her head to look over at him. "Oh you've _gotta_ be fucking with me..."

Lane gave a determined growl before managing to balance on her left hand and foot, disentangling her right leg from around Belle’s and throwing it over her friend’s hipbone, Belle giving a short squeak at the extra weight. The taller of the two managed to shimmy herself up and over enough until she was basically piggybacking Belle, the smaller woman’s arms and legs shaking violently from the extra weight.  
  
Before Bilbo could spin the needle again for Belle’s turn, the smaller woman’s arms and legs gave out from under her, both of them falling down into a heap on the rug, Belle letting out a groan of pain when Lane landed on top of her.  
  
“See, what did I tell you? Didn’t I tell you that I’m always the top?” Lane laughed, not moving to get off of her friend.  
  
Belle gave another groan as she attempted to wiggle out from under her friend’s body, Lane finally laughing and pulling herself off and onto her feet.  
  
“Well, I can wholeheartedly agree that it seems like a very… interesting game, though I’m afraid that it may not catch on while you’re staying here in the Shire; we hobbits tend to be a bit on the reserved side when it comes to things such as this,” Bilbo chuckled, walking over to hand Lane the spinner.  
  
Lane shrugged and took it from him with a small pout as Belle rolled onto her back and took in several deep gasps of air.  
  
“Well, there’s nothing we can really do about it I guess; we can always find another way of using all this shit though,” Lane laughed, bouncing the spinner in her hand a couple times before crouching down and bonking Belle lightly on the head with it.  
  
Belle gave a small whine and cracked her eye open to glare at her friend, Lane not able to keep the grin off of her lips. The smaller of the two reached up and attempted to swat at her friend as Lane dodged, Bilbo chuckling and moving the answer the door when there was a knock.  
  
“Oh! Good evening Primula,” Bilbo greeted with a smile.  
  
“Bilbo~! It is indeed. Lane and Miss Isabella haven’t run off in the middle of the night again have they?” the blond hobbit asked.  
  
“No no, they’re in the sitting room, we were just playing a game. Would you like to come inside?” Bilbo claimed, stepping aside so that his cousin could enter.  
  
Primula nodded and entered, wiping her feet on the mat by the door as Bilbo closed the door behind her. The two walked into the sitting room to see Belle and Lane rolling around on the floor, Belle with a deadly glare on her features and hand clenching Lane’s hair while Lane was letting out a round of pained laughter and attempting to push the smaller woman away from her.  
  
“Oh dear. I know that you told me they tend to have these tussles, but never did I think that they were true,” Primula gawked, gently covering her open mouth with her hand.  
  
“I’ve gotten quite used to it after spending nearly one month with them, though they do still tend to come out with the occasional thing that throws me for a loop,” Bilbo laughed, curling his thumbs through his belt loops.  
  
“Oh! Hey Primula~” Lane greeted with her usual grin and laugh.  
  
At hearing the hobbit’s name come from her friend’s mouth, Belle’s head swung up and quickly disentangled herself from her friend.  
  
“I’m sorry Primula, I didn’t know that you’d come in-”  
  
“It’s alright Miss Isabella, I’m just glad to see that after these fights that you two still remain such good friends,” Primula giggled.  
  
“Fights? _Trust me_ Primula, you haven’t _seen_ us fight yet,” Lane snickered, still sitting on the ground.  
  
The two hobbits cocked their heads to the side while giving the taller woman a confused look, Lane simply chuckling and shaking her head.  
  
“Well, I’m not staying too long; I just came over to tell you two that Drogo and I are going into Bree tomorrow to get some supplies for my store as well as some things for mother’s bakery. Did you two still want to visit the cobbler and get some shoes?” the blond hobbit hummed.  
  
“YES PLEASE!” Belle and Lane chorused, pleading looks instantly forming on their faces.  
  
“Why not come with us tomorrow Bilbo? Weren’t you saying something about getting some new plates?” Belle said, turning to look at the hobbit.  
  
“Yes, I suppose I could come along, if that’s alright dear cousin,” Bilbo hummed, turning to look at the blond.  
  
Primula smiled and gave him a nod. “Of course Bilbo, you’re always welcome~”  
  
“So what time shall we meet you in town tomorrow?” Bilbo asked.

“Please don’t say some ungodly hour like at sunrise or something like that…” Lane groaned.  
  
“Well, would early morning be any better?” Primula asked, giving her friend a confused look.  
  
Lane and Belle both simultaneously groaned but nodded, understanding why they’d want to head out so early in the day; it took several hours to get to Bree from The Shire.  
  
“Alright then, that settles it. We’ll all meet up in town at early morning and then take the buggy into Bree~” Primula sang, clapping her hands happily.  
  
The three agreed and Bilbo walked Primula back to the door after the women bid her goodnight.  
  
“Alright, if that’s the case we should all wash up and tuck in for the night,” Bilbo claimed as he walked back into the sitting room.  
  
The women nodded and Lane managed to pull herself off of the floor as Belle made her way to the bathroom to wash up.  
  
-=-  
  


When Bilbo had woken the two up again the next morning and everyone was set to go, the trio made their way into Tuckburough and caught sight of Primula and Drogo almost immediately.  
  
“Oh! Bilbo, Lane, Miss Isabella~ Good morning~” Primula greeted with a bright smile.  
  
“Good morning, Primula. Good morning, Drogo,” Bilbo greeted back with a smile.  
  
“You two ladies look like you’ve only just woken up,” Drogo laughed, placing a hand on his round belly.

“Because we _did_ just wake up,” Lane groaned, rubbing her eyes with the heel of her hand while running a hand through her hair.  
  
“We’ve been here for _weeks_ and we’re _still_ not used to these early risings,” Belle added with a yawn.

The three hobbits simply laughed, Primula and Drogo turning to lead the way towards the buggy as Bilbo patted both Belle and Lane on their backs before following after them. Lane and Belle sighed and followed after the hobbits, silently chanting to themselves that this was in order to finally get a pair of shoes onto their sore feet.  
  
The group found the buggy easily enough, Drogo stepping forward to pat the small pony on the snout as Primula and Bilbo climbed up onto the back.  
  
"Come along you two, get in and we can be on our way," Bilbo laughed, offering the women his hand.  
  
“Oh, we won’t be too heavy for the pony will we?” Belle asked worriedly, climbing into the buggy carefully.  
  
“Nonsense! Gregory may be small but he’s an excellent buggy puller, perhaps just sit by the wheels so as not to tip it?” Drogo suggested.  
  
Both women nodded as Lane managed to easily climb up, both girls sitting overtop of each wheel.  
  
"Alright, is everyone ready?” Drogo asked with a small laugh as he climbed up to the reins.

  
“Yeah! Let’s go get me some shoes!” Lane laughed, pumping her fist into the air with a grin.  
  
Belle cheered along with her as Primula and Bilbo laughed, Drogo letting out a chuckle as he took the reins in his hands and snapped them to get the pony moving.  
  
“Have you two been to Bree before?” Primula asked, turning to the two women with a curious look.  
  
“No, we haven’t,” Lane answered. “We _know_ about it and roughly where it is, but other than that we’re completely new to it.”  
  
“Well I’m sure you’ll enjoy it,” Primula smiled. “It’s not exactly a homey place, but I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t have certain perks to it; the food alone is something quite different.”  
  
“The ale at the taverns is also something that you have to taste if you’re in the area; the brew at the Prancing Pony is quite satisfying,” Drogo added with a laugh.  
  
“Have _you_ been to Bree before Bilbo?” Belle asked, turning to look at their hobbit.  
  
“I’ve only been a few times, and it’s been some time since my last visit, so I fear that I may be as _new to it_ as you two,” Bilbo confessed with a small laugh.  
  
“Well in that case we can be the trio of lost souls together,” Lane grinned, reaching forward to pat him and Belle on their knees.  
  
The quintet entered a lull of idle chatter as Drogo continued to take the well worn road to Bree. Lane and Belle were secretly quite excited to visit the small town. Aside from them being able to finally have foot protection hopefully by the time they’d leave, Bree was also the place where Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin first met Aragorn in The Fellowship of the Ring and it was where Gandalf had approached Thorin about taking back Erebor in Desolation of Smaug.  
  
“You think we’re going to see anyone familiar?” Belle asked, leaning over to whisper to her friend.  
  
“Probably not. The only person I remember was jolly roger tavern owner from FotR and his _father’s_ probably not even alive yet,” Lane chuckled, having leaned forward as well. “Actually… Hey, guys? What’s the date today?”  
  
“Today’s thursday, have you forgotten already?” Primula laughed.  
  
“No, I know it’s thursday, but what year was it again?” Lane asked.  
  
“It’s 1341 by Shire Reckoning,” Drogo sang from the front. “A fine year so far too in my opinion!”  
  
“And… _not_ Shire Reckoning?” Belle asked, feeling slightly confused.  
  
“I believe it’d be 2941 of the Third Age to the world of men,” Bilbo hummed, a thoughtful look stretched across his face.  
  
Belle and Lane’s eyes widened and they quickly glanced at each other out of the corners of them.  
  
“Wait… wasn’t 2941…” Belle began, fading off so as not to get caught.  
  
Lane grinned and nodded quickly, the two women having to cover their massive grins with their hands so that the now casually conversing Bilbo and Primula didn’t catch sight of them.  
  
“And there she is~!” Drogo called out.  
  
Four sets of eyes turned to look towards the front, the tall wooden barrier standing tall, though the doors were open as it was daylight. Riding through the doors, Drogo lead their buggy over to where many other horses and larger buggies were waiting, everyone climbing out as Drogo stepped down and brought their pony over to a water basin and tying him up.  
  
“Well, now should we all go together or would you like to split up?” Primula began, looking around their group.  
  
“Well why don’t us three lost souls wander about on our own to gain the experience and you two meander off and do your own things,” Lane suggested, throwing her arms across Bilbo and Belle’s shoulders with a grin. “We can meet back here in a few hours and whatever we don’t have done we can do together.”  
  
“That sounds like a solid plan,” Drogo agreed with a nod. “Let’s all meet back here before lunch; we can go grab a bite to eat together that way.”  
  
Everyone nodded in agreement before separating, Primula and Drogo heading one way to go look for some fabrics for Primula’s shop while Lane, Belle and Bilbo went in another direction to either hopefully find a pottery shop for Bilbo or the cobbler for the women.  
  
“Watch, everything will be in the _opposite_ direction,” Belle laughed. “Murphy’s law.”  
  
“Who’s Murphy?” Bilbo asked, looking between the two women.

The women couldn’t help but laugh, turning to look back at their hobbit.

“Murphy’s not actually a person, it’s like a saying. It basically means anything that _can_ go wrong, _will_ go wrong,” Lane explained. “Kind of like those moments when you’re outside and you forgot your jacket. You say, well this couldn’t get any worse, and the moment the words leave your lips it starts to rain,” she finished with a laugh.

Bilbo’s mouth fell open to form an ‘O’ and nodded as the two women smiled, turning back to the front to keep their eyes open for what they were searching for.  
  
“Oh! There! The cobbler!” Belle claimed, pointing to a sign not too far away from where they currently stood.  
  
“Sweet! Let’s go get some shoes!” Lane laughed, dashing forwards with Belle and Bilbo right behind her.  
  
The taller of the trio pushed open the door first, the bell ringing above their head.  
  
“Oh wow,” Belle smiled, instantly catching sight of several pairs of shoes lined along the walls of the store.  
  
“Well I’ll be. Never did I think I’d see two lone ladies accompanied by a _hobbit_ walking into my humble little store,” a boisterous voice laughed.  
  
A tall man with a balding head and lean frame came out from the back room a kind smile stretched across his lips.  
  
“Do women not come here often?” Belle asked, sounding genuinely curious.  
  
“Not unaccompanied at least, strange folk in these parts after all,” the man claimed, leaning on his counter.  
  
None of the three didn’t want to risk asking about these strange folk, worrying about what they may learn.  
  
“Well anyways, allow me to offer you ladies my services; was there anything specific you were looking for?”  
  
“Well, the two of us are on our feet for the majority of the day so something that will help to support us and our backs. I think it’d also be nice to have a recreational pair, just for days that we’re not working. Some boots too maybe? It’s been raining a lot recently, which I guess makes sense, April showers and all that...” Lane listed off, beginning to look at the wall of shoes beside them.

“Well, I _do_ enjoy people who know what they’re looking for in a shoe.” the cobbler laughed.  
  
“It’s because she likes feet,” Belle snickered into the back of her hand.  
  
Lane quickly spun to give the smaller woman a glare as Belle continued to giggle.  
  
“Will you have to _make_ the shoes or would it be possible to have them before we return to the Shire?” Bilbo asked, looking up at the man.  
  
“Yeah, I think my feet have gone through enough bare abuse to last me five lifetimes,” Belle agreed, subconsciously bringing her foot up to rub at the sole despite it still being wrapped.  
  
“Well I can’t guarantee that I have ones in your sizes currently in stock, but if you give me your measurements and I don’t, I can always start them today,” the cobbler claimed. “I may not have _all_ of your shoes ready, but I can try to at least finish one pair so that you have something.”  
  
“That’s sounds good enough to me,” Lane hummed, giving the man a nod.  
  
The cobbler motioned for the two women to follow him over to a nearby stool, pulling out a small contraption and motioning for Belle to put her foot against it. The woman did so and the cobbler turned a few dowels so that the metal slides framed her foot, quickly jotting down some notes before measuring her other foot as well. He repeated the process with Lane and excused himself to go look in the back to see if he had their sizes.  
  
“I don’t think he will,” Lane laughed. “He said not many women come into his store and I’d think he’d sell shoes mostly to dudes...”  
  
“Well it’s worth a try, and like he said, even if he doesn’t he can try to have some shoes for you two before we leave back for the Shire,” Bilbo hummed.  
  
The women nodded and Lane’s eyes strayed back to the wall of shoes, her eyes catching sight of a pair that caused her to grin. She tugged on Belle’s sleeve and pointed to them when her friend turned her head towards her.

“Don’t step on my blue suede shoes~♪” the taller sang with a small laugh, pointing to the pair of what almost looked like blue wooden clogs near the top of the wall.  
  
Belle, ever the Elvis fan, let out a loud round of laughter as Bilbo continued to give the two his usual confused look.  
  
“Sorry Bilbo, we’re just being weird again,” Lane snickered.

The hobbit simply smiled and shook his head, far used to the two’s “weirdness” by now.  
  
“So ladies, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that I don’t have any shoes in your sizes. The good news is that I have enough materials as well as time that I could probably manage to craft you a pair of decent shoes within a few hours. Do you know how long you’ll be in Bree?” the cobbler spoke as he came out of the back room.  
  
“We’ll be here for a few hours yet,” Bilbo hummed. “I’d like to find the pottery store and see if they have any decent flatware and we have to meet up with Primula and Drogo for lunch as well.”  
  
The women nodded and the cobbler clapped his hands. “Very well, I shall get to work. Come back a little after midday and I should have them finished.”  
  
“Thank you, we will,” Belle beamed, giving him a thankful bow.  
  
The trio left the cobbler’s and continued their way down the street, Belle and Lane with a renewed spring in their step.


	8. April Showers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How to get women wet

After their trip to Bree, Belle began to realize just how important it was for her to take some of her weight off. If the women happened to go with Bilbo, they would need to keep up with the company, and Belle knew she was not physically fit for that type of journey.The smaller woman began to start getting up early and going for walks in the morning before breakfast. Belle would do stretches throughout the day, during her breaks at the bakery she would do a few crunches, and then at night after dinner, Belle would go for a run.  
  
When Belle returned from her first night run, she found Lane waiting for her just outside the door to Bag End, arms crossed over her chest and eyebrow raised.  
  
“What are you up to?” She asked, an accusing tone in her voice.  
  
“I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be prepared for anything,” Belle replied, “I thought now was a good time to try and take off some of my belly and increase my lung capacity…”  
  
“Trying to impress a hella fine fella are we?” Lane asked, a shit eating grin stretching across her lips.  
  
“No, but we might have to run away from Orcs some day if we don’t find our way home.”  
  
“I’ll just beat the shit out of them,” Lane scoffed.  
  
“My hero…” Belle said with a teasing smile.Lane rolled her eyes at the smaller woman, leaving the conversation there for the time being.  
  
As time went by, Belle began to increase her reps; it was the first time she’d felt that she needed to better her health, or maybe she was just scared about the danger Lane and her might end up in. She couldn’t say for sure what was driving her, but the drive tended to send her into fits.  
  
Breathing heavily, grabbing the side of the fence, Belle was hunched over gasping for air,  she’d gone for her usual after-dinner run, but added a few more hills to her route. She’d overdone it this time, her whole body was shaking as she tried to take in some of the cool night air. Belle could feel herself falling, her knees hit the ground first and then the rest of her body followed.  
  
Belle’s eyes closed, the world kind of spinning as she tried taking in more air. She wondered if this would happen if they traveled with the company. Could she survive running for her life non-stop? Why were Lane and her really here? Was she in a coma back home maybe?  
  
Belle missed home, she missed sitting on her couch with a bowl of mini M&Ms, and a  root beer in her hand. She missed the simplest of things, like a hot shower and a flushing toilet.  She had to adjust to so much, and wondered...would Lane and her ever get back? Were they _meant_ to go back?  
  
A muffled voice called out to her, Belle not opening her eyes as the sound of footsteps grew closer, her chest was heaving, trying to grab as much air as possible. She felt someone shaking her by the shoulder as a familiar voice laced with worry reached her ears.  
  
“Izz? You okay?”  
  
“I...over...did...it,” Belle gasped, a hand pressing against her chest, “Can’t...breath…”  
  
Lane knelt down next to Belle, lifting the woman so she was sitting up and began to rub soothing circles on the smaller woman’s back.  
  
“You’re sweaty and gross. What were you doing, climbing fucking stairs?”  
  
Belle was trying to focus on the soothing motion on her back, still finding it very hard to breathe.“I tried... to up my reps,” she gave a cough, “Turns out...still can’t run like I’d like to…”“Well whatever you did tonight,” Lane stated, “No more...You look like you’re ready to fucking pass out.”“But-”  
  
“Don’t argue with me.”  
  
“Fine,” Belle sighed as her breathing began to slow down, “No more trying to kill myself.”  
  
After that night, Belle took her time when it came to running, rather than face the wrath of Lane. But that didn’t stop her from increasing her runs, instead of walking some mornings, she’d run, she’d walk to the bakery for work and speed walk back to Bag End. She had to prepare her body mentally and physically for whatever might come her way.  
  
The next afternoon Belle had tea with Bilbo and as she stretched for her cup, the small woman groaned.  
  
“Are you alright Miss Isabella?” Bilbo asked.Belle gave Bilbo a small smile, “I may have overdone...my workouts.”  
  
“Workouts?” Bilbo repeated curiously.  
  
Belle couldn’t tell Bilbo that he was going to on a cross-country adventure within a few months. She couldn’t tell him that his home would soon have thirteen dwarves and a wizard knocking on his doorstep.  
  
“I’ve been thinking maybe I should improve my fitness; I’ve been feeling a tad bit out of sorts.  I thought maybe working out would make me feel better.” she replied, telling him a half-truth.  
  
“Ah, I see. Well so long as you don’t push yourself too hard I suppose it’s understandable...” Bilbo hummed with a nod.  
  
“Once I’m used to running and stretching it won’t hurt so much,” Belle added, sipping at her tea.  
  
“She’s gonna end up killing herself,” Lane scoffed as she entered the kitchen.  
  
“It’s not _that_ bad,” Belle replied, “It’s good for someone to be physically active. We aren’t from here, it’s good to be a little extra prepared.”  
  
“I still think you’re overdoing it,” Lane grumbled.  
  
“Would you like some tea?”  
  
Lane made a face at Belle and she giggled, “How about we walk together more often? Going on walks would be good for both of us.”  
  
“Are you saying I’m fat?” Lane asked eyebrow raising.  
  
“No!” Belle exclaimed, “I would never! You know me better than that. I would call myself fat before I’d _ever_ call someone else fat. That’s cruel.”  
  
Bilbo cleared his throat. “I think you both are very beautiful, nothing wrong with the way you look.”  
  
“Awe, thanks Bilbo,” Belle stated with a smile, “That’s very sweet of you.”  
  
Lane made a face. “Beauty’s in the eye of the beholder; I’m fuckin’ sexy.”  
  
Belle rolled her eyes and Bilbo blinked in mild confusion. Belle sipped again at her tea, the mint aroma filling her nose and relaxing her. She looked over at Lane as she grabbed a cup of milk.  
  
“Are you sure you don’t want some tea? I made it myself today, first time having to make the brew all on my own.” the smaller woman asked.  
  
“I told you, I don’t drink fucking grass water,” Lane stated.  
  
“Not even tea I made myself?”  
  
“Never gonna happen Izz.”  
  
“One day,” Belle threatened, “You’ll ask me for tea and I won’t have any.”  
  
“Sure Izz, you keep telling yourself that.”  
  
That night, Lane joined Belle on her run, claiming that it was more for Belle’s safety than her own physical fitness, and though Belle never voiced it to her, she was grateful that Lane caught on to Belle’s fears of possibly not being able to walk long distances.  
  
“The small one is always walking and running around...”  
  
“Perhaps she’s lost her mind...”  
  
“The green one’s with her tonight too...”  
  
“They act stranger each time I see them...”  
  
“I’m gonna fucking deck someone,” Lane hissed out of earshot of the last group.  
  
“Don’t,” Belle stated, “They have no idea what’s going to happen in...what...78 years...heck a year from now…”  
  
“I don’t care what is going to happen in however many fucking years,” Lane growled, “You have an issue with me grow some balls and say it to my face…”  
  
Belle gave Lane’s shoulder a pat. “Sooner or later they will come around. If we punch them out for talking behind our backs, it’ll get us nowhere.”  
  
Lane grumbled some more, making it clear Belle had not won this battle at all. Belle rolled her eyes, “You know we’re gonna be okay.”  
  
Lane gave Belle a strange look and she gave Lane a gentle smile, “We are both in a strange world where the people think we’re weird. But, we’re together and as long as we stick together, we’ll be okay. I’ve got you and you have me.”  
  
“Izz, you know how I feel about the mushy shit,” Lane grumbled.  
  
“But you know I’m a hopeless romantic~” Belle giggled as Lane made a face at her.  
  
“That’s why you can’t get any,” Lane stated.  
  
“Really? Do you have to make everything about getting some?” Belle whispered, trying not to draw attention.  
  
Lane glared at Belle, “I haven’t had a smoke in forever because _someone_ threw them away, I’m not getting any, do you realize what that means?”  
  
“You’ve become a nun?” Belle asked, innocently playing with her fingers as her friend glared at her.  
  
“Yeah, cause I’m _gettin_ nun!”  
  
“Lane, it’s not that bad,” Belle tried to reason, “I think it’s good for both of us, I’m not getting any chocolate or pop...you know how good that is health wise?”  
  
“Do you _know_ how many calories you burn when you get some rigorous action? A LOT!” Lane scoffed.  
  
“But you can burn the same amount from going on runs and walks,” Belle tried to reason, “Part of the reason why I am going on walks and run…”  
  
“Now if _that_ doesn’t tell me your a virgin I don’t know what _will_ ,” Lane snickered. “But whatever, to each their own I think it goes.”  
  
Belle rolled her eyes at Lane as the women continued on their walk, Belle noticing the stars were beginning to appear in the sky, “We should head back, Bilbo might start to worry.”  
  
The women headed back to Bag End, and when they finally passed through the small gate they noticed Bilbo sitting on the little bench outside smoking his pipe.  
  
“Welcome back. How was your walk?” He greeted with a smile.  
  
“It was-”“Wonderful,” Belle finished elbowing Lane in the side, “You should come with us sometime. It’d be nice to go together.  
  
”Bilbo took a puff of his pipe - Belle could see Lane eyeing it - before he replied, “I think that would be a lovely idea. How about I join you tomorrow morning?”  
  
“Sounds like a plan,” Lane hummed before releasing a yawn and stretching her arms over her head. “I’m hitting the nest. See you guys tomorrow.”  
  
“I think I will too,” Belle agreed. “Goodnight Bilbo.”  
  
“Sleep well you two,” Bilbo bid.  
  
The next morning after breakfast, as promised, before Lane and Belle had to head to work the trio set off for a nice long walk down Belle’s usual route. They chatted casually and after ten minutes Lane finally caved and asked Bilbo is she could borrow his pipe when they got back to Bag End. This of course utterly confused and scandalized the poor hobbit leading Lane into a overly dramatic story about how in their homeland men and women were seen as somewhat equals and thus she, like many of their kin, smoked, and it was driving her up the wall not having access to it anymore. This also ended with Belle jumping in and having to explain that while Lane smoked, _she_ did not, though she knew a lot of men, and yes Bilbo, women too, who smoked aside from Lane.  
  
Throughout this lengthy debate on cultural differences and why “women shouldn’t smoke”, the trio failed to notice the dark clouds heading closer to their current position.  
  
And thus when the rain began to fall down on them like a waterfall in the middle of Lane berating Bilbo for being borderline misogynistic, they put aside their differences and ran for shelter under the Party Tree.  
  
“This is great, of all the times it rains it’s when I’m winning an argument,” Lane huffs. “Talk about literally raining on my parade.”  
  
“I still don’t see how in your homeland-”  
  
“ _Let’s_ all just agree to disagree!” Belle intervened, stretching her hands out between the two so the topic would hopefully be dropped. “We’re stuck out _in the rain_ and Bag End is still a far way up the hill. We can either make a run for it or sit here and wait for the rain to pass over.”  
  
“I’m supposed to go help Primula at the shop today, so I’m gonna book it,” Lane claimed, poking her head out from under the tree to try and catch a glimpse at the sky. “A little rain never killed anyone and it’s cold water so my colour won’t run anyways.”  
  
“W-wait! Lane!” Bilbo called out, reaching out for the woman only for Lane to dash out into the rain.  
  
“She _does_ kind of have a point Bilbo,” Belle hummed. “I was supposed to help Aunty Mirabella today as well. Besides, we don’t know how long this storm is going to last…”  
  
Bilbo sighed but nodded, seeing the logic in her argument. The two dashed out from under the tree and took the well-worn path back to Bag End, a small bobbing green dot able to just barely be seen through the rain.  
  
By the time the trio reached Bag End they were all thoroughly soaked and poor Bilbo was shivering.  
  
“You’re shivering like a leaf Bilbo, why don’t you have a nice warm bath?” Belle suggested, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.  
  
“Are you certain? I would think you two would like to as well…”  
  
“I’m soaked to my soul but I think doing a hard run helped me stay warm; I don’t feel all that cold,” Lane claimed, trying and failing to dry her glasses from all the rain water.  
  
“You go ahead Bilbo, I’ll just cuddle up with the human furnace over here until you’re finished,” Belle giggled.  
  
Bilbo nodded his thanks and made his way towards the bathroom while Lane and Belle moved towards their room. The moment Belle closed the door, Lane was ripping off her soaked clothing, her tunic, trousers and undergarments making a solid thud onto the wood floor as she piled them all together.  
  
“Could you please _warn m_ e next time!?” Belle squeaked, quickly clapping her hands over her eyes.  
  
Lane simply snorted and walked over to their chest of clothing she and Primula had made for herself and Belle, pulling out a dry set of clothing before realizing she didn’t have a towel to dry herself off with.  
  
“Well now… what the fu-”  
  
A towel was quickly flung at her head as she turned around.  
  
“Watch your language! I’ll drill it into you yet!” Belle scolded, slowly undoing her dress so as to change, though the clothing didn’t seem to stick to her person so much as Lane’s had.  
  
Lane simply huffed and began to dry herself off before dressing and dabbing at her hair before her eyes shot wide and quickly pulling it away.  
  
“Whoops!” Lane laughed, instantly noticing the green dye now stained into the pale pink towel. “Oh well, I guess this is now _my_ towel~”  
  
When Belle gave her a confused look Lane turned the towel around so the smaller woman could see, Belle rolling her eyes before finishing drying herself off and slipping on another dress.  
  
The women exited their room and quickly knocked on the bathroom door, letting their host know that they’d be at Primula’s and Mirabella’s store until later that evening before grabbing their umbrellas and heading back out into the rain.  



	9. Struggling Without

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Knuckle Sandwiches Don't Solve Everything

“Mine are nicer,” Lane grinned, lifting her foot into the air.  
  
“That’s because you started sweet talking the cobbler when we went back to get the first pair you cheater!” Belle laughed, nudging her friend’s shoulder. “I could have gotten nicely polished shoes too if I’d batted my eyelashes at him.”  
  
“Then why didn’t you? You nervous that he’d cringe?” Lane snorted.  
  
The taller rolled away from her friend as Belle sat up and made to swat at her.  
  
“You suck!” Belle pouted, glaring at her friend as she now sat several feet away from her.  
  
“Very well I’m told~” Lane retorted with a shit eating smirk, fixing her glasses so that they weren’t crooked.  
  
”Ewwwwwww, gross…” Belle gagged.  
  
It’s been a few weeks since the women, Bilbo, Primula and Drogo had gone to Bree for the day. Lane and Belle had gotten a decent pair of shoes for their overly abused feet and within a few more days, their boots and second pair of shoes had been finished, Primula convincing another hobbit to go and pick them up for the women when the blond had found out that he was heading to Bree for business. To say that Belle and Lane had been elated about finally having something to protect their soles would have been an understatement.

“Gah, I _still_ have paint under my fingernails…” Belle scoffed as she attempted to pick the green out. “I still can’t believe you tried to put _door paint_ in your hair; you’re lucky it didn’t all fall out!”  
  
“My _roots_ were starting to show!” Lane argued with a small pout, absentmindedly tugging at a few of the locks. “And I thought it was working fine until you lost your fucking mind…”  
  
“YOU PUT DOOR PAINT ON YOUR HEAD!!”  
  
Lane simply continued to pout as Belle rolled her eyes and tore some grass out from the earth and threw it at her friend. Giving an exasperated sigh, Belle laid back down on the grass and closed her eyes, simply allowing herself to relax.  
  
Lane and Belle had both been given the day off from helping Primula and Mirabella out at their stores, the older hobbit woman packing them a small basket of goodies before telling them to go have a picnic out in the woods out in Eastfarthing. The thought of being somewhere that they’d never gotten the chance to see excited them, the women eagerly agreeing and heading out almost immediately.  
  
“I need a cigarette… or a good roll...” Lane groaned, hanging her head while tugging at her hair. “I don’t understand how you do it Izz, I’m withering away to nothing over here…”  
  
“Stop thinking about it so much and just enjoy the fresh air…” Belle sighed, understanding that her friend was going through withdrawal but also not really wanting to ruin the nice atmosphere.  
  
“Do you think Bilbo would be mad if I stole his pipe for a quickie or something when we get back?”  
  
“Lane…” Belle groaned.  
  
“Izz you don’t understand; I can’t quit cold turkey, I don’t have it in me,” Lane whined, kicking her feet out childishly in front of her.  
  
“Lane!” Belle barked, finally opening her eyes and glaring up at her pouting friend. “Just… breathe the fresh air… think about puppies or Aunty Mirabella’s cooking or something!”  
  
Her words were met with silence causing Belle to release a content hum and settle down into the grass and close her eyes once again.  
  
“I wonder if hobbits have good stamina in bed?”  
  
Belle gave a loud groan of defeat before finally sitting up and glaring over at her friend, Lane’s eyes cast up to the clouds with a pondering look on her face.  
  
“I’d yell at you for not letting me have a nice peaceful nap with such nice scenery, but knowing you, you’d up and ditch me,” Belle scowled, narrowing her eyes accusingly at her friend.  
  
“ _Me_?? Ditch _you_?? Why I _never_!” Lane scoffed, mock hurt laced in her tone as she brought her eyes back down to look at her friend, all the while resisted the urge to grin. “The _nerve_ of some people’s children!”  
  
Belle couldn’t help but let out a loud round of laughter, Lane quickly joining her. The taller woman shuffled back over so that she was sitting by her friend’s hip, Belle’s eyes not leaving her.  
  
“Here, you want to help me forget about smokes and bones? I figured that we could make some today since we’re always bored when we’re at home,” Lane laughed, pulling out several thin pieces of wood out of the small sack she’d been carrying in a small pouch Primula had made for her.  
  
“What are we making exactly?” Belle asked with a laugh, leaning slightly to watch her friend.  
  
Lane reached into her pack and took out a few tiny inkwells and two quill pens, handing one to her friend. “We, my dear friend, are going to make playing cards.”  
  
“Playing cards? As in a deck of cards?” Belle questioned with a laugh, taking the offered quill.  
  
Lane nodded and sat cross legged beside her friend before taking one of the wood squares and dipping her quill into the ink. Belle giggled and followed after her friend.  
  
“Wait, what were the things again? Diamonds, Hearts… Clubs…”  
  
“And Spades,” Lane answered with a small laugh, not taking her eyes away from her work. “Do you want to do all of the numbers and I do the suits?”  
  
“Sure, though I’m not making any promises when I get to Jack, Queen and King,” Belle agreed with a laugh.  
  
Lane simply hummed and set her piece down to dry as she picked up another one to sketch a black heart in all four corners.  
  
“Wait, hold on… I think I’m getting lost…” the taller claimed after about ten minutes of silence. “ I need…. thirteen of each suit right? Numbers two through ten, Ace, Jack, King and Queen. Ah fuck, I think I made too many hearts…” she grumbled, quickly doing a count of what she had.  
  
“You’re spreading too much love,” Belle snickered, looking away from her piece for a moment to give her friend a grin. “And what did I tell you about language? You’ve been doing so well recently…”

“It’s all this proper talk that I’m surrounded by; you dweebs are all infecting me with your nicey niceness,” Lane scowled, looking up at her friend over the frames of her glasses. “Fuck it, I’ll just turn them into _extremely_ crappy clubs…”  
  
Belle giggled and rolled her eyes as Lane picked up the extra heart cards and “fixed” them, tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth in concentration.  
  
After nearly an hour of working on the cards, the women splayed them all out so that they could admire their handiwork.  
  
“Well, this means we’ll have to have a pretty intense game of Go Fish when we have some time next,” Lane chuckled.  
  
“I’ll _totally_ kick your butt; I’m _awesome_ at Go Fish!” Belle laughed.

Lane rolled her eyes and rested back on her hands, her eyes drifting back up to watch the clouds pass by above them.  
  
“Well, should we head back you think? The scenery is nice and everything but there’s only so much wood I can stare at before i’m reminded that I’m not getting any...” Lane suggested, managing to stand.  
  
Belle rolled her eyes at her friend’s words and allowed Lane to help her to her feet, both women brushing off any stray pieces of grass from their person. They carefully packed up the inkwells, quills and newly created playing cards before grabbing Mirabella’s now empty basket and making their way back into town.  
  
The walk was mostly quiet save for a few dramatic complaints from Lane about needed to get laid, which Belle quickly silenced when they were soon within hearing distance of the hobbits. The duo caught sight of a small gaggle of tiny creatures and attempted to simply walk by while giving them friendly smiles, only to be given scornful looks in return.  
  
“Oh look, there they go...”  
  
“Such strange creatures those two are..”  
  
“Their demeanor is nothing short of barbaric…”  
  
“The smaller one isn’t too bad but the taller…”  
  
“What horror befell her for her hair to turn such a ghastly shade-”  
  
“ALRIGHT THAT’S IT!” Lane roared, swinging around to face the gossiping group. “You _fuckwits_ can-”  
  
“Laaane let’s not go there, c’mon let’s just go home,” Belle quickly interjected, spinning her friend back around and essentially shoving her so that she’d walk in the direction of Bag End.  
  
By the time they got down the road enough that the group was out of sight Lane was red in the face from repressed rage and Belle was forced to keep an iron grip on her friend’s wrist so she didn’t go storming back and giving the hobbits a piece of her mind… or fist...  
  
“Ah! Miss Isabella, Miss Lane~!”  
  
Belle turned turned to catch sight of two hobbits making their way towards them.  
  
“Oh! Uncle Gorbadoc, good evening~” Belle greeted with a smile and a small bow.  
  
“Uh oh, looks like someone’s poked the bear eh?” the older of the two hobbits laughed, instantly noticing Lane’s furious expression. “I’ve heard a few of the more gossipy hobbits murmuring around Hobbiton, but don’t let their words dig under your skin child; you’re only letting them win.”  
  
Lane huffed and crossed her arms over her chest eliciting another hearty laugh from the older hobbit.  
  
“It’s nice to see you’re feeling better Uncle Gorbadoc~” Belle laughed.  
  
“Aie, took a few doses of Mirabella’s stew, but when she started adding garlic I think she successfully managed to scare it out of me,” Gorbadoc laughed. “But anywho, I don’t think you’ve met this one yet!”  
  
Belle turned to the unfamiliar face of the hobbit standing beside the Master of Buckland as Gorbadoc thumped him on the back.  
  
“Ladies, this is my eldest, Rorimac. Son, these are Isabella and Lane!” Gorbadoc introduced, motioning between the trio.  
  
“It’s nice to finally meet you. Ma and Primula have both taken a keen liking towards you two since you’ve arrived here in the Shire. You’re settling in fine though right?” Rorimac asked, offering them his hand to shake.  
  
“It was a bit of a rocky start at first to be honest, but after a few weeks I think we managed to grasp the concept of living amongst the Shirefolk,” Belle hummed, taking his offered hand. “I heard from Primula that your wife’s pregnant, congratulations.”  
  
“Thank you, though I don’t find it surprising that Primula’s been spreading it around like wildfire; she’s just one of those people who loves to spread the news,” Rorimac laughed.  
  
“How are you taking the thought of being a grandfather Uncle Gorbadoc?” Belle asked with a giggle.  
  
“I think Mirabella took it worse than I did. Though she was ecstatic beyond mention, I think the thought of becoming a grandmother already in her mind means that her _baby boy_ isn’t very much of a baby anymore,” Gorbadoc laughed, thumping his son on the back again.  
  
The trio let out a small round of laughter before the two men turned and nodded at each other.  
  
“Well, we’ll let you ladies be on your way, have a safe trip back to Bag End,” Gorbadoc hummed, leading the way passed the women, Rorimac hot on his father’s tail.  
  
“You two have a safe trip as well~!” Belle bid, waving after them.  
  
When she turned back around, Belle noticed that Lane’s face had returned to its original colour and with hands stuffed into her pockets was absently kicking at the small stones on the path.  
  
“Are you feeling a little better now?” Belle asked with a small laugh.  
  
Lane sighed. “Gorbadoc’s got a point; letting fucking chatty-cathy’s like that get under my skin just means I’m letting them win… still doesn’t mean I’m not gonna fucking deck them next time I see them though…”  
  
Belle rolled her eyes as Lane stalked past her towards Bag End, quickly jogging after her friend to walk next to the taller.  
  
-=-  
  


The ground seemed to shake around Belle as she watched several orcs and goblins attack groups of elves, dwarves and men. She could normally tell when she was dreaming, but as the screams of monsters echoed and the ground shook, it felt all too real. She wanted to run, but as she gazed around her, she could see the company fighting and felt the need to stay. Belle searched for Lane, she was wondering where her friend was, a sense of dread hanging over Belle’s head as an Orc ran at her.

Belle spotted Lane in the distance as she dodged the Orc, Lane was battling alongside characters she was all too familiar with; Fíli, Kíli, Dwalin, just to name a few. Belle attempted to call out to her friend when a large Orc appeared in her line of sight, Belle screamed and turned around to run away. Belle came to a sudden halt however when she felt a strange pain through her knee, the pain soon shot upwards through her leg a scream already in her throat as a spider walked towards her.

Belle sat up sleepy and looked around. “Waaaaaah?”  
  
She turned slightly to look towards her friend, only to see that the taller woman was looking at her with a bit of a glare, her eyes squinted at Belle. Belle didn’t know what was going on, but she rolled onto her side and fell back to sleep.

The following morning when Belle woke up, she rolled over and found Lane sitting up reading a book that she remembered her friend borrowing from Bilbo the week before. The taller woman looked at Belle and nodded in a silent good morning as Belle stretched her arms above her head.  
  
“Did you hit me last night?” Belle asked.

Lane looked back to her friend. “Yeah; you were snoring again. I patted your knee to try and get you to stop and it worked at first. A few minutes later you all of a sudden got louder, I tried to be gentle but you didn’t stop so I smacked you,” Lane explained with a small grunt, clearly unimpressed from the memory.

“Okay,” Belle hummed with a nod. “I thought I was dreaming that up…”

Lane gave Belle an odd before she snickered. “You thought you were dreaming about me hitting you?”

“Yes,” Belle replied. “Because I had been dreaming about being attacked by goblins, orcs and a spider…”

“You are _so_ weird…” Lane chuckled. “Of course you’d be having nightmares about spiders…”

“But you love me,” Belle grinned.  
  
“Somebody has to,” Lane snickered.  
  
Placing the small leaf in the book to save her page, Lane stood from the floor, Belle right behind her and Lane exited the room while Belle changed into her clothes for the day.  
  
By the time Belle had exited their room and made her way towards the kitchen, she was a little surprised to see that Lane was preparing a small breakfast instead of Bilbo.  
  
“I heard him go to bed late last night so I figured we’d let him sleep,” Lane hummed, answering her friend’s unasked question.  
  
Belle nodded and sidled over to her friend’s side to help cook.  
  
The small breakfast of toast and tea, or milk in Lane’s case, was made quickly enough as well as finished. Once they finished up their dishes, the women went out to sit in the small front yard outside of Bag End, Lane grinning at Belle as she pulled their new deck of cards out.  
  
“I’m still going to kick your butt,” Belle laughed, sitting in the grass.  
  
“And I still say that I’m going to prove you wrong,” Lane grinned, managing to shuffle the thin wood pieces before dealing.  
  
Just as they readied their hands, the front door to Bag End opened, the two women turning to watch as their host walked out, pipe in his hand.  
  
“Good morning Bilbo~” Belle greeted with a smile.  
  
“And a good morning to yourself as well Miss Isabella,” Bilbo greeted, a smile matching her own stretched across his lips. “And a good morning to you also Lane.”  
  
“How’d you sleep Bilbo?” Lane asked with a small chuckle, turning back to the makeshift card game her and Belle were playing on the front grass.  
  
“I slept quite well actually. I haven’t had a good night sleep like that for some time now, though I’m not entirely certain as to why…” Bilbo hummed, pulling out his pipe and sitting on the bench by Lane’s back.  
  
Continuing their game for a few more minutes, Belle chanced a look over her friend’s shoulder and her eyes went wide. She reached forward and rapidly patted the taller woman’s knee causing Lane to lift her head from her deck and raise an eyebrow.  
  
Lane turned around to see what her friend was gawking at as Bilbo blew out a smoke ring, closing his eyes to allow the sun’s warm rays dance across his face.  
  
The cloaked figure walked in front of Bilbo's smoke ring, the smoke transforming into a butterfly before fluttering over and disintegrating against Bilbo’s nose, the hobbit’s eyes shooting open in start.  
  
As the tall figure loomed on the other side of the fence, Bilbo shuffled nervously in his seat.  
  
“Good morning,” the hobbit greeted, sending the women a wary look.  
  
“What do you mean? Do you mean to wish me a good morning or do you mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not? Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel good on this particular morning. Or are you simply stating that this is a morning to be good on?” the newcomer said, hands resting on the tall brown staff.  
  
“All of them at once… I suppose,” Bilbo said, clearly nervous about the looming figure.  
  
Lane and Belle sat on the grass with wide eyes, not believing that _the_ Gandalf the Grey was standing not ten feet away from them and holding an all too familiar conversation with their favourite hobbit.  
  
“Sir Ian, PJ has _not_ been good to you,” Lane whispered under her breath, careful to try not to interrupt the duo’s words.  
  
Belle couldn’t help but let out a laugh at her friend’s words, causing both hobbit and wizard to turn and look at the duo.  
  
The moment Gandalf’s eyes set on the women, they widened, his mouth dropping open slightly.  
  
“Gandalf is staring at us,” Belle murmured, her eyes not leaving the wizard.  
  
As if he heard her words, Gandalf closed his mouth and turned back to Bilbo, the hobbit having began to climb the stairs back to his door.  
  
“To think that I should have lived to be Good Morninged by Belledonna Took’s son, as if I was selling buttons at the door,” Gandalf huffed.  
  
“...I beg your pardon?” Bilbo asked, giving the wizard a confused look.  
  
“You’ve changed, and not entirely for the better Bilbo Baggins,” Gandalf sighed.  
  
“I’m sorry do I know you?” Bilbo asked, the slight agitation in his voice evident.  
  
“You know my name though you don’t remember I belong to it, I am Gandalf! And Gandalf means… me.” the wizard claimed, a proud look spreading across his face.  
  
“Not Gandalf the wandering wizard who made such _excellent_ fireworks,” Bilbo smiled, pointing his pipe at the wizard. “Old Took used to have them on midsummer’s eve~!” Bilbo paused to let out a small laugh before his face turned serious again, “No idea you were still in business…”  
  
“And where else should I be?” Gandalf glowered.  
  
Bilbo stuttered for a few moments before nervously biting his pipe and puffing away.  
  
“Well I’m pleased to find you remember _something_ about me… even if it’s only my fireworks,” Gandalf hummed. “Well that’s decided!” With a nod, Gandalf shifted his staff in his hands. “It’ll be very good for you, and most amusing for me.” he claimed, pointing at Bilbo. “I shall inform the others.”  
  
Just as Gandalf went to walk away Bilbo stammered and pointed his pipe at him. “No no no! No wait. We, do not want _any_ adventures _here_ thank you not _today_. I… suggest you try over the hill or across the water…..good morning!” With that Bilbo fled into his home and the women snickered as they heard the click of the lock.  
  
“Don’t mind him mister Gandalf,” Belle giggled as the wizard huffed. “He’s just not used to things like that.”  
  
Gandalf hummed and nodded, opening the small gate, careful not to bump Lane on the back and walked up the stairs to Bilbo’s door.  
  
“Ooooooo, the mark. Maybe now we’ll know what it looks like,” Lane whispered.  
  
Gandalf used his staff to draw an intricate sigil on the door below the handle before nodding to himself and beginning to walk away.  
  
“Should we draw Thorin a map?” Lane suddenly asked.  
  
Gandalf stopped in his tracks and turned to look down at her.  
  
“I mean, The Shire’s pretty big and we wouldn’t want him to get lost,” the taller snickered, giving her friend a knowing look.  
  
Belle, understanding her friend’s reference, covered her mouth to try and muffle her giggles. Gandalf on the other hand acquired a pensive look before nodding again and marching away.  
  
“Wait, does this mean we get to meet the Company?!” Belle squealed, clapping her hands in glee.  
  
“Mmmmm Richard Armitage,” Lane hummed, a dreamy look in her eyes. “I’d _pay_ to see _him_ in a kilt.  
  
“I’m sure it’s on Google… _everything’s_ on Google,” Belle giggled. “Wait, I thought you liked Fíli?”  
  
“Fíli will always be my number one dwarf, but Armitage will always be my number one dwarf _actor_ ,” Lane grinned.  
  
Belle rolled her eyes and stood from her spot on the grass, brushing any stray blades off of her rear as Lane did the same.  
  
“Alright, now let’s go yell at Bilbo to let us in, I’d like a small snack before we go to work,” Belle hummed, taking her friend’s hand and walking towards their home.


	10. Not So Unexpected Houseguests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh look! More short people!

“I hope we’re not too late,” Belle hummed, a skip in her step as they made their way up the hill to Bag End.  
  
“Nah, there’s no way that our luck is that bad,” Lane chuckled.  
  
Belle giggled and opened the gate with one hand while the other managed to balance a basket of freshly baked bread, Lane carrying the other four.  
  
“I _still_ can’t believe that Mirabella let you make so much,” the taller chuckled, carefully lifting the baskets over the gate as she walked through, Belle holding it open for her.  
  
“Well if this doesn’t at least feed twelve dwarves for a little longer, it’ll save what little will be left of Bilbo’s food storage,” Belle laughed, walking up the steps to the door.  
  
Belle opened the door and their ears were instantly met with the expected merry sounds of dwarves surrounded by food. Bilbo back-pedaled out from the east hall to the oak hall, his face pale and his head hung.  
  
“Oh, Bilbo~!” Belle greeted.  
  
The hobbit spun on his feet to look at the two, giving a small whine as he scuttled over to them, Lane shutting the door behind her with her hip.  
  
“You didn’t mention that we were going to have guests,” the taller snickered, nodding her head towards the noise further into the home.  
  
“Well I can tell you that these guests are _most un_ welcome! They’re destroying the house! And they’ve all but plundered the pantry-is that butter-bread?”  
  
Belle laughed and offered him a small loaf with a smile. “Freshly made too! Aunty Mirabella is truly a master when it comes to the kitchen.”  
  
“Well, how about we hide a few loaves somewhere so they’re not devoured by these _unwelcome guests_ you’ve acquired,” Lane laughed.  
  
Both Belle and Bilbo nodded, the shorter woman offering Bilbo her basket while he scuttled off to go hide it. Once he was out of sight the two women turned to look at each other. The smiles that were stretched across their faces nearly split them in half and Belle released a small squeal while doing a small dance in her spot as Lane snickered. The duo quickly toed off their shoes, Belle moving them off to the small mat off to the side before walking towards the noise.  
  
Lane lead the way through the oak hall, east hall and into the atrium, turning the corner first and came face to face with the destruction of poor Bilbo’s dinning room, Belle right behind her.  
  
“Jeez, and I thought _my_ family was bad,” Lane gawked.  
  
The rowdy dwarves instantly went silent, all thirteen pairs of eyes including those of the Grey Pilgrim turning towards the two females.  
  
“Oh! I didn’t know Master Baggins was expecting company,” Balin smiled.  
  
“That makes two of us,” the women chorused, doing their best to fight back the shit eating grins that were threatening to spread across their lips once again.  
  
“Forgive us lassies, had we known there’d be female company we would have-”  
  
“Not destroyed poor Bilbo’s house? Highly unlikely,” Belle giggled, fists resting on her hip.  
  
“Well, since you all are already devouring the stockroom, you may as well give your honest opinion on these,” Belle continued with a hum, taking one of the baskets from her friend and placing it on the table by Dori’s elbow.  
  
The moment she lifted the cloth all eyes in the dining room lit up and grins were spreading like wildfire. Belle handed out a small loaf of bread to each of them, all of the dwarves instantly digging into the soft crust and releasing pleased hums.  
  
“Tis delicious lassie~” Dori smiled.  
  
“Been quite some time since I’ve had fresh baked bread,” Gloin agreed, gobbling up the rest of his loaf.  
  
“Well, there’s plenty to go around, so please, enjoy,” Belle smiled as Lane walked her way around the table handing out seconds.  
  
“You don’t look like like you belong here surrounded by little folk...” Dwalin claimed, narrowing his eyes as Lane walked behind him.  
  
“What gave me away?” Lane snickered, giving the warrior a raised eyebrow. “It’s the hair isn’t it? I’d share the story but it’s an extensive one that involves fish, glitter glue and _lots_ of pudding.”  
  
“What’s… glitter glue?” Ori whispered innocently to Nori, only for the older dwarf to shrug his shoulders.  
  
“My brother speaks truth. Aside from your… odd colouring, you look like two of men who reside with a hobbit...” Balin agreed, glancing between Lane and Belle a few times.  
  
“Is this you trying to say we look like outsiders, Balin? That’s not very guestly of you to insult one of the people who lives in the house you and your friends have all just invaded,” Lane huffed, crossing her arms over her chest in mock anger.  
  
The room remained silent and all eyes were on the taller of the two women, Lane looking around with a confused look.  
  
“What? You guys look like you’ve seen a ghost…” Lane said.  
  
“I don’t recall Balin nor any of the others introducing themselves to you young one,” Gandalf claimed, raising an eyebrow and giving her a knowing look.  
  
Lane’s and Belle’s faces paled and their eyes darted over to meet.  
  
“I… ummm….. heard it…. from the hallway?”  
  
“Not likely lassie,” Bofur hummed, elbows resting on the table.  
  
“There you two are!” Bilbo’s voice suddenly called out, Belle and Lane jumping slightly. “It’s best to stay away from these _ravenous fiends_ lest you find yourself under their fork!” the hobbit huffed, quickly taking the now empty baskets and glaring at the dwarves and one wizard seated at the table.  
  
Lane nodded and quickly used this opportunity to dash out of the dining room, Belle right behind her.  
  
“Master Baggins, who are those two?” Balin asked.  
  
“ _They_ are my welcomed guests, which is more than what I can say about the rest of you!” Bilbo barked, ripping a loaf of bread out of Gloin’s hand before storming off.  
  
Belle peeked around the corner of the study before heaving a deep sigh and walking back over to the couch before whacking her friend upside the head, Lane jolting forward with a pained yelp.  
  
“You. Are. An. Ab. So. Lute. IDIOT!” Belle growled, smacking her friend with each syllable. “Do you have _any_ idea how fast we’d be thrown into the loony bin if we had to explain what and where we came from?!”  
  
“Ow ow ow OW!! Woman can you _not_ concuss me?” Lane barked, swinging around to glare at her friend. “I’m sorry that my tongue slipped, fucking _sue_ me!”  
  
Belle sighed and walked around to sit next to her friend on the couch.  
  
“I don’t _want_ to get used to them!” they heard Bilbo hiss, causing them to shift in their seats.  
  
“The state of my kitchen! There’s mud trodding the carpet, they’ve _pillaged_ the pantry and I’m not even going to _tell_ you what they’ve done in the bathroom, they’ve all but destroyed the plumbing, I don’t understand what they’re doing in my house!” Bilbo rambled, walking Gandalf down the hallway slightly until the women could just barely see them both from the study.  
  
“I’m sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?” Ori asked as he walked over to their host.  
  
“Here you go Ori, give it to me,” Fíli grinned, taking the plate from the older dwarf.  
  
As plates and bowls began flying about, Lane and Belle couldn’t help the wide grins that spread across their faces.  
  
“Izz, it’s the song!” Lane cheered, jumping from her seat to walk out into the atrium to watch and listen, Belle right behind her as Bilbo turned towards the kitchen to yell about blunting the knives.  
  
_Blunt the knives, bend the forks  
Smash the bottles and burn the corks  
Chips the glasses and crack the plates  
That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates~!_

_Cut the cloth, trail the fat,  
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat,  
Pour the milk on the pantry floor,  
Splash the wine on every door!_

_Dump the crocks in a bowling bowl;  
Pound them up with a thumping pole  
And when you’ve finished, if they are whole,  
Send them down the hall to roll!_

_That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates!_

  
The song continued with the women singing along, though their voices were drowned out by the cheerful voices of the twelve dwarves. Belle let out a sharp squeak when Fíli didn’t notice a bowl flying towards him, the dish sailing over his shoulder. Lane jumped slightly to the side when the bowl came flying towards them and reached her arms out to catch it, only to flounder about for a few moments when it continued to slip and bounce off of her fingers, ending in her managing to grab it only to trip over a small pile of books just outside of the study’s doorway with a yelp and a hard thud.  
  
Belle helped her friend off of the ground and the two were about to make their way towards the kitchen when a hard knock sounded on the door.  
  
Lane let out an excited gasp, quickly throwing the bowl upside down on top of Belle’s head and dashing down the halls.  
  
Belle quickly followed her friend, peeking around the corner with her as Gandalf opened the door to reveal a very familiar dwarf king standing on the steps.  
  
“Gandalf,” Thorin greeted. “I thought you said this place would be easy to find, I lost my way, twice. Would not have found it at all had it not been for the mark on the door.”  
  
“I told Gandalf I could make him a map,” Lane muttered quietly, Belle covering her mouth to suppress her giggles.  
  
“Mark? There’s is _not_ a mark on that door it was painted a week ago!” Bilbo growled, marching out into the hallway.  
  
“There _is_ a mark, I put it there myself,” Gandalf claimed, closing the door once the would be king was inside.  
  
“So. Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our Company, Thorin Oakenshield,” Gandalf spoke.  
  
“You’re such a nerd!” Belle hissed when she found Lane mouthing along to Gandalf’s words with a giant grin.  
  
“Fuck you, this is a wet dream come true for me!” Lane hissed back, her smile not fading.  
  


“So… this is the hobbit,” Thorin began, handing his coat to Kíli and stepping forward to assess Bilbo. “Tell me mister Baggins have you done much fighting?”  
  
“Pardon me?” Bilbo asked.  
  
“Axe or sword, what’s your weapon of choice?” Thorin continued, walking a circle around Bilbo until he stood in front of him again.  
  
“Well I _do_ have some skill in Conkers if you must know, but I fail to see why… that’s relevant…” Bilbo replied, nervously shifting on his feet.  
  
“Thought as much,” Thorin smirked. “He looks more like a grocer than a burglar.”  
  
The dwarves all moved their way back into the dining room through the parlour, the women returning to their couch in the study. After finding that they were too far away to eavesdrop, they moved from the study with a few pillows to sit against the wall between the two rooms and whispered to each other about what each character was about to say and what actions were going to be taken.  
  
As the discussion began to get heated around the table, Lane and Belle would occasionally steal glances around the corner of the dining room, trading knowing looks and watching as Bilbo stood close by the listen and watch with them.  
  
“The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage,” Gandalf spoke. “But if we are careful and clever, I believe it can be done.”  
  
“That’s why we need a burglar,” Ori claimed.  
  
“Mhmm, and a good one too. An expert I’d imagine,” Bilbo added with a nod.  
  
“And are you?” Glion asked, leaning forward in his seat slightly.  
  
Bilbo lifted his head and gave them all a confused look. “Am I what?”  
  
“He said he’s an expert!” Oin cheered.  
  
“Me?? No no no no I’m not a burglar, I’ve never stolen a thing in my life,” Bilbo interjected.  
  
“I’m afraid I have to agree with mister Baggins, he’s hardly burglar material,” Balin claimed.  
  
“Aye, the wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves,” Dwalin added.  
  
The chatter among the table slowly became louder and louder until Gandalf stood from his seat.  
  
“Enough! If I say that Bilbo Baggins is a burglar then a burglar he is!” the wizard growled, a dark shadow covering the room as he spoke.  
  
“Who the fuck pissed in _his_ cornflakes?” Lane muttered.  
  
The taller let out a small yelp when Belle whacked her on the shoulder while muttering about language.  
  
“Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact they pass by most unseen if they chose,” Gandalf began. “And while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of _dwarf_ the scent of a _hobbit_ is all but unknown to him which will give us a distinct advantage.” Gandalf finally sat back down in his chair and looked to Thorin. “You asked me to find the fourteenth and fifteenth members of our company and I have chosen mister Baggins.”  
  
Lane and Belle’s eyes widened at the change, looking at each other before quickly sitting properly against the wall.  
  
“Fifteenth?? I thought there was only fourteen? Isn’t Bilbo the only extra member?” Belle asked in a hushed tone.  
  
Lane quickly hushed her friend as she strained to hear the conversation in the next room.  
  
“Who is this fifteenth member Gandalf?” Kíli’s voice asked.  
  
“My dear lads, our fifteenth member, was to be an Oracle,” Gandalf claimed.  
  
The dining room was instantly filled with astounded whispers.  
  
“ _Was_ to be? Why was?” Fíli asked.  
  
“Because I did not anticipate the Oracle _splitting_ into _two_ ,” Gandalf hummed, turning in his seat slightly.  
  
At the mention of two, Lane and Belle’s eyes widened and they slowly turned in their spots to see Thorin, Gandalf and Bofur leaning out to look at them, no doubt the others looking in their direction from within the dining room as well.  
  
“They are but two women,” Thorin growled.  
  
“Sexist pig,” Lane grumbled under her breath.  
  
Belle glared at her friend causing Lane to roll her eyes.  
  
“You expect me to believe that two women act as one Oracle? An Oracle is a powerful being with the gift of both foresight and hindsight, the ability to see through time no matter the direction!” Thorin growled, his eyes turning back to the wizard.  
  
“I thought in dwarf culture you were supposed to be nice to darrowdams because there’s so few. With a shitty attitude like that no _wonder_ Fíli’s your heir instead of you popping out your own kid; I wouldn’t let that sour mouth of yours anywhere near my _boot_ let alone my _bed_ ,” Lane scoffed. “I hope Gloin and Bombur at least treat their wives well…”  
  
The house went eerily silent and Thorin stood from his chair, his boots making heavy thuds against the wood floor as he walked around his chair and stood in front of the two, Belle shrinking slightly but Lane holding his glare with her own.  
  
“You would do well to hold your tongue-”  
  
“Or what? You’ll hold it for me? Oh, be still my beating heart,” Lane deadpanned.  
  
A few snickers from the others had Thorin clenching his fists by his side.  
  
“And what proof can you _give_ exactly that you two are indeed Oracles,” Thorin growled. “Tell me what the future holds for our quest, and _maybe_ I’ll believe that insufferable things such as yourselves can possibly be truth seers.”  
  
“Nu-uh!” Lane huffed, lifting her hand and waving a finger up at him from her spot on the floor. “Hasn’t anyone ever told you about the butterfly effect? If we tell you something like that then there could be _cataclysmic_ consequences. What if everyone lives at the end but because you know that, you start slacking off and someone gets killed, that would be on _your_ hands, not ours!”  
  
“But… if it’s something small…” Belle finally piped up, not liking the deadly glare the dwarf king was giving her friend. “If it’s a miniscule prediction… then I don’t think it would be too bad…”  
  
Lane turned to look at her friend before raising her eyes to the ceiling in thought. One quickly hit her and she grinned, leaning down to quickly whisper in her friend’s ear, Belle giggling and nodding in agreement. Lane quickly stood and looked towards Thorin.  
  
“Lend me your ear,” she grinned, waving him closer.  
  
Thorin raised an eyebrow at her while leaning back slightly.  
  
“Oh stop you big baby I’m not going to bite it, unless you’re into that kind of thing in which case I will have _no_ qualms towards indulging you,” Lane scoffed, a shit eating grin stretched across her lips.  
  
A small round of laughter resonated from the dining room as Thorin scowled, but stepped forward so that the woman could lean down to whisper in his ear.  
  
When she finished he pulled away and gave her a disgruntled look.  
  
“If it comes true, you have to take us with you, if not we’ll turn around and leave you on your merry ways,” Lane grinned.  
  
Before anyone could agree or disagree, Lane was tugged down by the back of her collar by a now standing Belle and a pillow was brought up beside their heads to block them.  
  
“Are you _insane_!?” Belle hissed quietly. “Why would you want to go to Erebor with them!? Do you _not_ remember what all happens!?”  
  
“Ah c’mon Izz, isn’t this what you were doing all that running for in the first place? Let’s go on an adventure~!” Lane laughed, mimicking Bilbo’s words that had yet to be spoken.  
  
“Let’s stay here and _live_!” Belle growled, glaring at her friend.  
  
“Would you stop being such a ninny and _live_ a little!?” Lane whispered. “Think of the fun, the adventure, the excitement. And besides, even if we _do_ find ourselves in a pickle, we have thirteen battle ready dwarves that’ll help us out and I’m sure that if we asked, at least _one_ of them would be willing to teach how how to at least _hold_ a sword.”  
  
Belle opened and closed her mouth several times before closing her eyes and releasing a defeated sigh, Lane grinning and pulling the pillow out of her friend’s hands before offering Thorin her own.  
  
“Deal?”  
  
The king growled but took her hand in his, shaking it once before stomping back into the dining room. Lane rolled her eyes and turned her head slightly to look down at Belle out of the corner of her eye, the two gaining large grins almost instantly.  
  
As the night continued, the dwarves slowly began to set into their own things. Lane and Belle had moved to sit back in the study while Bilbo and Gandalf spoke in the parlour.  
  
“Forgive me my ladies, for interrupting.”  
  
Belle and Lane turned slightly to see the two princes standing behind the couch, Kíli with a large grin stretched across his face and arms crossed over his chest and Fíli with a hand resting on his hip while his other set on the back of the couch by Lane’s shoulder.  
  
“Y-you weren’t interrupting anything, really!” Belle stammered, her cheeks going pink.  
  
“Oh stop your stuttering, what are you, a school-girl?” Lane scoffed, a teasing grin stretched across her face, knowing full well the reason behind her friend’s stuttering.  
  
The brothers let out a small round of laughter as Belle swung to glare at Lane, the taller rolling her eyes before turning back to the two behind them while fixing her glasses.  
  
“So, to what do we owe the pleasure of the company of two dwarven princes?” Lane snickered, resting her chin on her palm while giving Fíli a knowing look.  
  
“You really _are_ an Oracle aren’t you,” Fíli laughed, returning her gaze. “That’s right, Kíli and I are Thorin’s nephews. Our-”  
  
“Mother’s brother. Dís right? I also know about your _second_ Uncle, Frerin as well as his death,” Lane hummed, allowing her eyes to wander towards Kíli.  
  
The two of them stood there, shocked for a few moments before their usual grins spread across their faces again.  
  
“I can tell already that this is going to be an exciting adventure,” Kíli grinned, taking a step forward to regard both women. “If you are indeed two halves of one, do you see different things?”  
  
The two women froze, slowly sliding their eyes to meet each other, both with a silent plea behind them.  
  
“Ummm…. it’s… hard to explain?” Lane said, giving the brothers a corny smile.  
  
Lane turned back to Belle. “What do you...remember from your visions,” she asked, trying to lay thick hints for her friend.  
  
Belle blinked a few times in confusion before the pieces clicked together.  
  
“I’d probably say emotions,” she replied.  
  
“Emotions?” Kíli asked, leaning over slightly to look down at her.  
  
“Y-y-yeah,” Belle squeaked, leaning away slightly. “I mostly re- _see_ what emotions are being felt by the affected people. So like… if there is fear and panic, I know something bad is going to happen,” she explained.  
  
“ _I_ on the other hand see people and places,” Lane began, taking the attention off of her clearly flustered friend. “So if you add our _visions_ together, for instance, if I see you and Kíli by a river and she feels joy, then we know that all is well. But if she feels something like anger or fear, we know that one if not both of you, while at the lake, is in trouble.”  
  
The two nodded in understanding, seeming to have the information slowly sink in.  
  
“I just realized that you know our names but we know not yours my ladies,” Fíli claimed, his eyes shifting between the two.  
  
“My name’s Isabella, but you can just call me Belle,” she hummed, bowing her head slightly in greeting.  
  
“And I’m Lane. _Just_ Lane though, you don’t have to add lady or miss… actually I’d really prefer if you didn’t…” the taller added with a small roll of her eyes.  
  
“But why not? Surely a great Oracle such as yourself would demand to be treated as such my Lady Lane,” Kíli gawked, seeming to be bothered by the very notion.  
  
Belle snickered as Lane glared at him.  
  
“Well this _great Oracle_ doesn’t like being called Lady, and if you call me it one more time I’m going to hurt you,” she warned, her eyes narrowing at him.  
  
The two brother’s exchanged teasing looks before letting out a round of laughter, Lane feeling the anger bubble in her stomach.  
  
“Forgive me Lady Lane, but I don’t think you’d be able to do much damage to seasoned warriors like us,” Kíli snickered.  
  
Lane’s features quickly turned from irritation to plotting, a sultry smile stretching across her lips as she stood from the couch and walked around it so she stood in front of the brunet.  
  
“You’re absolutely right Kíli, I don’t think I’d be able to do any permanent damage,” she hummed, placing a palm on his sternum while looking down at him over the frames of her glasses. “You _are_ after all a _seasoned_ and _well-trained_ warrior _as well as_ the nephew of the King.”  
  
Kíli’s cheeks quickly coloured but put on a broad smile and placed a hand overtop the one on his chest, leaning slightly around Lane’s shoulder to look at his brother.  
  
The lascivious smile instantly fell off of Lane’s face and she quickly turned her hand to grab his own and twisted to put Kíli into a rotational wrist lock, the youngest prince giving a pained yelp as he was turned around and all but fell to his knees in pain, Lane keeping her firm hold around his wrist.  
  
“I however am a perfectly capable woman who is able to _get my point across_ without _needing_ to inflict permanent damage! Isn’t that _right_?” she growled, tightening her hold and making Kíli yelp again.  
  
“No! No you need not do so! I can assure you your point has been made my La-Lane! I said Lane!” Kíli groaned.  
  
With an approving nod, Lane released Kíli’s wrist, the brunet prince instantly holding and rubbing it with a small glare.  
  
“Just because we’re women doesn’t make us any less of a being than the rest of you _seasoned warriors_ ,” she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.  
  
“We were wrong to even assume so… Lane,” Fíli hummed, a slight chuckle in his tone at the sight of his brother all but being thrown to the floor by a female.  
  
Lane gave another approving nod before sitting back on the couch.  
  
“Now I think I know why Gandalf was so devoted to having you come with us,” Fíli laughed, leaning down to rest his elbows against the back of the couch. “Other than being an Oracle you’ve got a real spirit, like fire.”  
  
“And I also find it interesting that you two seem to be complete opposites, but I suppose that’s due to being two halves,” Kíli added, standing and still rubbing his wrist. “Lady Isabella seems to be mostly quiet and humble while you seem more outgoing and…well...”  
  
“Deceiving?” Lane offered with a laugh. “I like to see it as one of my better qualities I’ll have you know.”  
  
“Well I’m sure you’ll adapt quickly within our group nonetheless,” Fíli laughed.  
  
“I’m sure both of us will, though I make no promises about not throttling your _lovely_ uncle if he keeps being a prick,” Lane huffed, rolling her eyes.  
  
“Lane, I think I speak for many of us in the company when I say that we all secretly admire your bravery for standing up to him like that; not even Master Dwalin can,” Fíli hummed, giving her a wink.  
  
Lane rolled her eyes and raising her hand to plant it on his face, pushing him back making the trio laugh.  
  
“Look, Bilbo,” Belle noticed, nodding her head towards a now standing and walking Bilbo.  
  
“You boys go bother your kin and we’ll bother ours!” Lane laughed, shooting off of the couch, Belle right behind her.  
  
“Bilbo~~!” Lane cheered, smacking him on the rump before laying an arm across his shoulders. “You gonna save us from these hoodlums and come with us or are you going to babysit the house while we’re gone?”  
  
“Oh _please_ come Bilbo, it’ll be so much fun~!” Belle cheered, walking along the hobbit’s other side.  
  
“I’m sorry ladies, but I will not go on a quest that could very well claim my very life!” Bilbo huffed, not looking at either of them.  
  
Before either one of them could say another word, Bilbo managed to push their arms off of him and stalked away, both women looking at each other with raised eyebrows.  
  
Just as they were about to turn around, a familiar tune softly floating through the home. Leading the way back to the parlour, Lane came to stand next to Fíli as he smoked his pipe, looking up at her out of the corner of his eye as Belle stood on her other side.  
  
  
_Far over, the Misty Mountains cold  
To dungeons deep, and caverns old  
We must away, ere break of day  
To seek the pale enchanted gold.  
  
The dwarves of yore made mighty spells,  
While hammers fell like ringing bells  
In places deep, where dark things sleep,  
__In hollow halls beneath the fells.  
  
_

The two women were thrown for the minute due to the change in the song; the one in the movie had only been a handful of lines long, and if they remembered correctly, they were different lines than what the dwarves were singing currently. At first both women had been eager to quietly hum along to the familiar hymn, but with these new additions they found themselves simply listening to the song, allowing it to invade their minds  
  
_For ancient king and elvish lord  
There many a gleaming golden hoard  
They shaped and wrought, and light they caught  
To hide in gems on hilt of sword.  
  
On silver necklaces they strung  
The flowering stars, on crowns they hung  
The dragon-fire, in twisted wire  
They meshed the light of moon and sun.  
  
Far over, the Misty Mountains cold  
To dungeons deep, and caverns old  
We must away, ere break of day,  
To claim our long-forgotten gold.  
  
Goblets they carved there for themselves  
And harps of gold; where no man delves  
There lay they long, and many a song  
Was sung unheard by men or elves.  
  
The pines were roaring, on the height,  
The winds were moaning, in the night.  
The fire was red, its flaming spread;  
The trees like torches, blazed with light.  
  
The bells were ringing in the dale  
And men looked up with faces pale;  
The dragon’s ire more fierce than fire  
Laid low their towers and houses frail.  
  
The mountain smoked beneath the moon;  
The dwarves, they heard the tramp of doom.  
Their fled their hall to dying fall  
Beneath his feet, beneath the moon.  
  
Far over the misty mountains grim  
To dungeons deep and caverns dim  
We must away, ere break of day,  
To win our harps and gold for him!  
_

  
When the song came to an end, Belle lightly clapped her hands together and turned to grin at her friend, only to notice her slacked posture against the doorframe and eyes closed.  
  
“You still alive?” Belle teased, nudging her friend in the hip with her own.  
  
Lane’s eye instantly opened and she stood straight.  
  
“Yeah! Yeah I’m fine. But I think now might be a good time for everyone to turn in,” the taller hummed. “Since Bilbo’s all but hidden away I guess you and _I_ are going to have to drag out the blankets.”  
  
Belle gave a small whine but followed her friend out of the room as a few of the dwarves let out a round of quiet chuckles.  
  
Hunting down and handing out the blankets, Lane’s hand was stopped by a gloved one, causing her to flinch and freeze.  
  
“You looked troubled… during the song,” Fíli said, keeping his voice quiet. “Are you alright?”  
  
“Yeah, I’m fine. I guess you could say that, although I’d rather die than admit it to his face, your uncle has a very… bewitching baritone,” Lane smiled. “But thanks for asking.”  
  
Fíli gave her a smile of his own and released her hand as she handed his brother a blanket as well.  
  
“We leave at first light lassies; you’d best be getting some rest yourselves,” Balin spoke as the dwarves all settled in.  
  
“We will Master Balin. Goodnight everyone~” Belle smiled, giving a small wave as she followed Lane out of the room.


	11. Going on an Adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the road again~

**  
**“You look a little worse for wear Oracle, you won’t fall too far behind will you?” Dwalin teased, watching as Lane continued to try and rub the sleep out of her eyes while trying to tame the bird’s nest of hair on her head.  
  
“I’m a little worse for wear because _this one_ was sawing fucking _logs_ last night,” Lane grunted, thumbing towards a somewhat awake Belle. “And no I won’t fall behind; I’d rather _not_ get eaten alive by your _King_...”  
  
“Let’s get moving,” Thorin grunted as he fixed his large heavy coat onto his form.  
  
The company nodded and quickly shuffled forwards to begin the trek to their next destination.  
  
“Are we seriously going to just leave Bilbo behind?” Belle murmured, keeping her voice quiet.“He manages to catch up to everyone later because they left the contract in the sitting room, and I’m assuming we’re just going to take main roads…” Lane hummed, stretching her arms above her head again, her back giving a satisfying crack.  
  
Belle nodded and continued to tag along in the back of the group along with Lane.  
  
Despite how they may have seemed in the film, the company of dwarves were anything but welcoming. Sure, they hadn’t scorned either of the women or claimed that they weren’t needed, but the unspoken words were heavy in the air; Lane and Belle were outsiders, in more ways than one. The only reason the dwarves hadn’t said anything was most likely due to the fact that they were all convinced that the women were these, all powerful beings and either remained silent out of miniscule respect or fear.  
  
“Come along lassies, best not to dawdle,” Balin hummed, looking back at the women.  
  
Lane and Belle both raised their heads from watching the ground pass by their feet and quickly dashed forwards so that they were once again in stride with the company.  
  
“Isn’t this Bywater?” Lane asked, looking around to the familiar scenery, even if it was barely morning.  
  
“What on earth are we doing here? It would have been faster to go through Tuckburough…” Belle agreed.  
  
“If you’d like to _walk_ to Erebor, then be my guest,” Thorin growled, turning around to glare at the two.  
  
“Hey, don’t get all hissy your _lordship_ , I was just worried that you gotten us _lost_ ,” Lane scoffed, a mocking tone in her voice.  
  
Thorin simply clenched his jaw and continued on, Belle jabbing the taller woman in the side with her elbow causing Lane to give a grunt from pain.  
  
“Would you _stop_!?” Belle hissed, giving her friend a small glare. “I’d rather you _not_ make the leader of the company an enemy! Besides, what happened to your devoted love to Armitage?”  
  
“Telling me that just because I like Armitage I have to get along with Thorin is like telling me I have to adore Denethor because I like Noble,” Lane huffed, rubbing her ribs and rolling her eyes.  
  
Belle simply sighed, knowing all too well that her friend wouldn’t budge in a matter such as this.  
  
“Here.”  
  
The women turned to see that Gloin had walked over to them, a tawny coloured horse’s reins in his hand.  
  
Lane reached out and took the reins from him, Gloin turning around and walking away before she could even open her mouth to thank him.  
  
“I can already tell that this whole fucking quest is going to drag on…” Lane scoffed, reaching up to gently pat the horse on the snout.  
  
Belle turned her eyes away from the steed and gave Lane a slightly fearful look, the taller raising an eyebrow.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Lane there’s no way I’m getting up onto this horse; it’s too big and I’m…. well…”  
  
Lane rolled her eyes. “Izz, if _Bombur_ can get up onto his pony then you can get on a horse,” she scoffed, grabbing her friend around the waist.  
  
Belle gave a short squeak as she was slowly lifted off of the ground. After a little bit of flailing about, she was seated on the horse’s saddle and Lane handed her the reins.  
  
“Good horsey. Nice horsey, please don’t kill me….” Belle whimpered.  
  
Lane rolled her eyes and somehow managed to hoist herself up to sit behind her friend, taking the reins from Belle and giving the steed a gentle nudge in the side to start moving as the others began to set off ahead of them.  
  
“Don’t look so pale Lady Isabella,” a cheerful laugh sounded from behind them.  
  
Before either woman could turn, a black pony trotted up on their left while a white speckled pony rode up on their right, Kíli and Fíli both having wide grins stretched across their lips.  
  
“You look as if you ride some manner of beast, he’s not going to eat you,” Fíli laughed.  
  
“I’ve… never ridden a horse before… they’re so big… and intimidating,” Belle mumbled, leaning away from the horse’s head back against Lane’s torso.  
  
Lane simply rolled her eyes and muttered something about “such a fucking ninny”, Belle elbowing her friend in the stomach causing the brothers to laugh.  
  
The company soon entered the very forest that the two women had entered this world through, Gandalf leading the charge while Thorin rode behind him. Then was Gloin, Oin, Nori, Bombur, Bifur, Bofur, Dori, Ori, Dwalin, Balin, Lane and Belle and finally Fíli and Kíli.  
  
“How can you _ride_ for this long? My butt hurts,” Belle whined, attempting to shift on the saddle.  
  
“I can massage it if you’d like,” Lane hummed, giving her friend a shit eating grin.  
  
Belle was about to bark back at her when a voice rang through the woods.  
  
“Wait!”  
  
The procession slowly came to a halt, everyone turning to see Bilbo dashing up to them, backpack stuffed with necessities and a long sheet of paper flailing about behind him as he ran.  
  
“I signed it,” Bilbo claimed, holding the paper up for all to see before handing it to Balin.  
  
After thoroughly inspecting the document in his hands, Balin smiled. “Everything appears to be in order! Welcome, Master Baggins, to the company of Thorin Oakenshield.”  
  
“Give him a pony,” Thorin huffed, turning his own steed to start walking again.  
  
“No, no no no, that won’t be necessary,” Bilbo stuttered. “I’m sure I can keep up on foot. I’ve done my fair share of walking holidays, even got as far as Frogmorton once.”  
  
The hobbit’s stuttering was silenced when Fíli and Bofur grabbed onto his pack before hauling him up onto the smallest pony. Lane nudged their stallion to trot up beside Bilbo’s, both women giving him a smile.  
  
“We _knew_ you’d come,” they chorused.  
  
“Of course you did, though I would have liked to have known about your _abilities_ some time ago, no doubt they would have come in handy,” Bilbo laughed.  
  
“For what, predicting what toe Bodo Proudfoot was going to stub?” Lane snickered.  
  
Bilbo laughed along with them. “I _am_ glad that you two will be here with me; I don’t know how long I’d last if I was to come alone,” he hummed.  
  
“Trust me Bilbo, you’d be surprised how courageous and strong you can be,” Belle hummed, giving him a gentle smile.  
  
Bilbo gave her a confused look, shifting his eyes to look at Lane, only for the taller’s grin to grow, nudging her horse to trot up ahead.  
  
After a few minutes, money bags began flying around the company, Lane and Belle rolling their eyes.  
  
“What’s that all about?” Bilbo asked, looking at Gandalf for answers.  
  
“They made wagers, on whether or not you’d turn up,” the wizard answered. “Most of them bet you wouldn't.”  
  
“What did _you_ think?” Bilbo asked.  
  
Gandalf gave a sigh right before lifting his hand to catch a black sack flying in his direction. “My dear fellow, I never doubted you for a second.”  
  
Bilbo suddenly gave a sneeze, rubbing his nose with a disgusted look on his face. “Uh.. it’s horsehair, I’m having a reaction. Wait! Wait a minute!” Bilbo called out, furiously checking all of his pockets.  
  
“What on earth is the matter?” Gandalf scoffed.  
  
Thorin turned his pony around again and caught the eye of the taller woman in their company, a knowing grin on her lips. She raised a hand, as if telling him to wait a moment before her hand flattened out, palm up by her shoulder, indicating behind her.  
  
“We have to go back, I forgot my handkerchief,” Bilbo huffed.  
  
“Here!” Bofur called out, ripping a piece of his coat off and tossing it to the hobbit. “Use this.”  
  
Lane turned her eyes back to the front of the company, instantly catching the eye of the would be king once again. Thorin inhaled deeply before giving her a small nod, urging his pony forward.  
  
 _‘Bilbo will refuse to travel along with the company. But should you and Balin leave the contract for him to sign after we leave, Bilbo will sign it and join us as your burglar. Moreover, after beginning to travel, Bilbo will realize that he has forgotten his handkerchief at home, only for Bofur to rip off a piece of his coat as a replacement.’_  
-=-  
After nearly two days on horseback, taking several breaks and pit stops along the way, which Thorin was _not_ happy about, the company of seventeen had reached the borders of the Shire, passed through The Old Forest, through the Barrow Downs and finally arrived at the gates of Bree. As it was still light, the large, and slightly flimsy oak doors were open, the group trotting in and finding a place to tie their steeds.  
  
“Gather what provisions you think you will need, but not more; you carry what you own,” Thorin spoke, looking back at everyone. “We meet at The Prancing Pony at sundown.”  
  
Everyone nodded and almost like a trio of magnets, Bilbo, Lane and Belle grouped together and began to walk down the street.  
  
“What should we get, do you think?” Belle asked, looking around at all of the stalls.  
“Well Bilbo apparently needs a handkerchief,” Lane snickered, looking down at the hobbit.  
  
Bilbo rolled his eyes with a small groan. “Alright alright, yes it was a stupid thing to say, let’s leave it in the past shall we?”  
  
The women continued to snicker but patted the hobbit on the shoulder, a silent way of telling him that they still loved him.  
  
“On a serious note though, I need a razor because _someone_ broke my other one,” Lane began, glaring over at Belle. “And I refuse to resemble Balin’s beard during this journey.”  
  
“I’ve never understood your hate for body hair,” Belle sighed, rolling her eyes at her friend’s glare.  
  
“For _my_ body hair,” Lane corrected. “I feel like a fucking furby if I don’t shave!”  
  
“What’s a furby?” Bilbo asked, sounding confused.  
  
“It’s a small animal about yey big that’s _covered_ in fluffy fur that talks to you at 2 in the morning,” Lane answered, holding her hands about a foot apart from each other.  
  
Bilbo looked mildly horrified while Belle smacked her friend on the arm.“Well well, if it isn’t the ladies of The Shire~!” a voice called out. “And their faithful hobbit escort as well~”  
  
The trio turned at the familiar voice greeting them, catching sight of the cobbler leaning against his shop’s doorway.  
  
“Oh! Mister Appledore~!” Belle greeted with a friendly grin.  
  
“What brings you three back to Bree, you in need of more shoes?” the man laughed as they walked over to him.  
  
“Oh no, we’re going on a small trip is all,” Bilbo quickly stated, fidgeting slightly in his spot.“A trip you say? The girls here I can understand, but I always assumed that hobbits were more of the lovers of the hearth than adventurers,” Appledore hummed, giving the hobbit a knowing look.  
  
“We’re dragging him out against his will,” Lane laughed, throwing her arm across his shoulders. “We didn’t want to just wander off into the blue and leave him all alone to sulk.”  
  
Appledore didn’t seem convinced, but didn’t press the matter further, simply giving them a smile. “Well, what provisions are you in search for for this adventure of yours? Perhaps I could lend some assistance.”  
  
“That’s just it, we’re not exactly sure,” Belle hummed. “We’re going to be gone for several months at least, so we’d need things such as food and water, but what else?”  
  
“I want a razor and some soaps too,” Lane interjected with a raised hand.  
  
“A razor? Now why would you want something like that?” the man asked, looking confused.  
  
“To threaten her head with,” Lane replied, stone faced and thumbing over to her friend.  
  
Appledore let out a bark of laughter while Belle balked at the taller woman before swatting at her and holding her hands on her head.  
  
“Well, I’m to assume that you’ll mainly be sleeping in the cold, so a bed roll and perhaps a thin blanket to keep the night’s chill at bay. Perhaps a small dagger for hunting and defending yourselves if needed. I’d also think that some flint, some extra clothing in case you get extremely dirty, a hat for the sunny days and a cloak for the rainy ones. You should also probably find yourself some herbs for medicine to carry with you, some rope and maybe some gloves,” the man listed, using his fingers and raising his eyes to the sky in thought.  
  
“Good gracious, I never thought that this would require so much…” Bilbo said, his face falling slightly. “I managed to pack a few small things, but nothing like that…”  
  
“Not to mention I don’t know if we have that much money to go with in the first place-and no, Bilbo, we’re not using yours,” Belle added.  
  
“Well, the two of us are going to have to find packs to _carry_ these things in any case,” Lane claimed.  
  
Appledore’s eyes came back down from the sky and gave the trio a small smile. They strayed behind them and he quickly smiled.  
  
“Ah, wonderful! Amaranth! Come over here would you~?” he called out, waving to someone behind the trio.  
  
Before they could turn, a woman around Lane and Belle’s age but taller than both of them in a black cloak, tunic, trousers and boots was standing beside Lane. Her hair was a red-bronze colour and intricately braided in a way that made the three wonder if it was done by elves.  
  
“Friends, this is Amaranth, a Ranger from the north who occasionally graces Bree with her presence,” Appledore hummed, motioning to the woman. “Amaranth, do you think you could do me a small service and help these three to find what inventory they need for their journey? I’ll take it as your payment for those boots I made you last week.”  
  
“You always were one for sly words weren’t you,” Amaranth hummed, giving the cobbler a raised eyebrow.  
  
Appledore simply chuckled and shrugged as she turned her attention down to the three by her side.  
  
“Alright come along little ones, I shall do what I can for you,” the ranger hummed, nodding for them to follow her.  
  
The trio quickly bid their friend farewell and followed after the ranger, the woman expertly leading the way further into Bree’s small shopping district. Along the way the trio expressed things they’d _like_ to acquire while the Ranger told them the things they should most _definitely_ acquire, Amaranth was as confused as Appledore had been at Lane’s wishing for a razor, but agreed to see if she could find one for the green haired woman regardless.  
  
“Fifteen silver coins for it,” the man behind the stall grumbled, his hand placed on the thin metal razor.  
  
“Fifteen!?” Belle squeaked.  
  
“Ten.” Amaranth haggled.  
  
“This razor is the last I managed to get from the Rivendell Elves! Fifteen and no lower!” the shopkeeper growled.  
  
“Can I give you my necklace and pay the rest?” Lane offered, pointing to the chain hanging around her throat and down her sternum.  
  
Amaranth and the shopkeeper both gave her quizzical looks before the man raised an eyebrow and extended his hand, Lane pulling the long necklace off of her person before handing it to the man. The moment he was holding it however his eyes nearly fell out of his skull, especially when Amaranth quickly snatched it back.  
  
“Those are _diamonds_! And _silver_! Where did you _get_ that!?” the man gawked.  
  
“This necklace is worth 100 razors Lane, you should-”  
  
“Then it will be enough to pay for one and get some money back, right?” Lane interrupted, giving the ranger a haughty look.  
  
Amaranth simply sighed and turned back to the shopkeeper, the man’s eyes having never left the necklace in the Ranger’s hands. “Give us the razor and I expect coined compensation for the rest.”  
  
The man quickly nodded and pushed the razor closer to the group, Lane instantly reaching over so she could take the razor and stuff it into a small pocket in her new pack. The group were given a hefty number of silver and copper coins for the rest of the necklace before the four finally left the stall.  
  
“Where did you acquire such apparel?” Amaranth asked, raising a suspicious eyebrow.  
  
“Through a friend~” Lane answered with a grin.  
  
“It was Doogie wasn’t it? He probably stole it you know, more than likely from some poor senile old lady who thought he was her loving and devoted grandson or something,” Belle scoffed while crossing her arms with a huff.  
  
Lane didn’t answer her friend, though her grin did widen marginally.  
  
“Well, I think it’s safe to say that the rest of our purchases can be made easily with the amount of coin you managed to get for it,” Bilbo hummed, looking back at the large sack Amaranth was holding for them.  
  
“I still want to see you haggle though Amaranth; it’s a riot to watch,” Lane laughed.  
  
“Only if you want to…” Belle added giving Lane a pointed look since Lane now had a lot of coin, “After all we don’t want to keep you from your work…”  
Amaranth simply shrugged and once again led the way through the throng of men to the next stall.  
  
“We’re not giving you ten silver coins for a half-assed attempt at a traveling cloak,” Amaranth scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest while glaring at the vendor. “Six silver coins.”  
  
“This cloak is _handmade_ by the elves you prissy brat, you should feel blessed that I’m not asking for more!” the vendor scowled. “Ten silver coins and no less!”  
  
“Six.”  
  
“Ten!”  
  
“Six.”  
  
“TEN!”  
  
“Ten.”  
  
“SIX AND NO LOWER!!!”  
  
“Deal,” Amaranth grinned.  
  
“Deal! ...wait what?”  
  
Amaranth took the coins from the group’s sack and placed them on the stall as the vendor began to growl and grumble under his breath, taking the coins and all but throwing the two cloaks at the ranger, Amaranth catching them easily and handing them to the trio.  
  
“Forgive me, but you will have to find a way to split them up between yourselves,” the woman hummed. “I would not risk an attempt to buy a third.”  
  
The trio nodded and accepted the cloaks from her, quickly rolling them up and putting them in Lane and Bilbo’s packs.  
  
The group continued to make their way through Bree’s shopping district, the ranger almost always managing to haggle a lower price for the items they needed, though the majority of the prices were already lowered when the vendors recognised the ranger. By the time they had everything they believed they had needed, including Lane’s soaps, an herbal pouch for Belle and of course, a handkerchief for Bilbo, they still had plenty of coin left over.  
  
“Thank you for helping us Miss Amaranth,” Bilbo hummed, giving the Ranger a thankful smile and polite bow of his head.  
  
“Yes, thank you so much I don’t think we’d have gotten everything we’d needed if you hadn’t been there with us!” Belle agreed with a smile of her own.  
  
Amaranth simply nodded and with a raised hand bid them farewell, disappearing into the streets of Bree and leaving the trio to head back to the Prancing Pony.  
  
“Ah! Right on time!” Gandalf greeted as the trio walked into the inn. “We were beginning to worry that you’d gotten lost.”  
  
“Us? Lost? Never,” Lane snickered.  
  
“Well come join us!” the wizard called over the voices of the rowdy patrons.  
  
The three nodded and shucked their packs before walking over to one of the numerous tables that the rest of the company had occupied, theirs only holding Gandalf as the dwarves were all conversing with each other in hushed tones.  
  
“Can I get you friends anything to eat, or maybe some ale?” one of the tavern girls asked.  
  
“Try the ale here, it’s not as good as what we would brew in the Blue Mountains, but it’s got a taste all of its own!” a laugh sounded from one of the other tables.  
  
The group turned to see Kíli giving them a giant grin and a nod, the women turning back to the tavern girl.  
  
“I guess we’ll try this spectacular ale you have,” Belle laughed.  
  
“And I’ll have whatever you happen to be selling~” Lane purred, resting her cheek in her palm and winking up at the girl.  
  
The tavern girl’s cheeks instantly coloured and scuttled away while Belle yelled at her friend, Bilbo sighed and Gandalf looked scandalized.  
  
A few minutes later the tavern girl returned with four large brown mugs filled with ale, Gandalf, Bilbo, Belle and Lane taking theirs before doing a small cheers and taking a large swig.  
  
As Belle placed her mug down she raised an eyebrow as she realized Lane was doing a one shot.  
  
“You’re ridiculous,” the smaller woman laughed when her friend finally thumped her mug on the table top with a fulfilled sigh and grin. “You’re going to get hammered if you drink like that.”  
  
“If I get hammered it will _not_ be after only one drink,” Lane scoffed. “My tolerance is nothing compared to an elf but I _am_ Irish.”  
  
Belle rolled her eyes again and was nearly crosseyed as the night went on. After Lane’s third drink, she had caught the attention of some of the dwarves and she was quickly pulled into a drinking competition between her, Gloin, Fíli, Kíli, Nori and Bofur. Bofur surprisingly was the first to bow out when he claimed his head was starting to swim, Gloin right after him and Nori a few mugs later.  
  
“You three are going to get alcohol poisoning at this rate!” Belle chastised as the three were now on their tenth mug of ale.  
  
“I ain’t havin’ nuttin’ poisoned ‘ntil these two bow out!” Lane slurred, clearly half off her rocker already.  
  
“ _Ye_ want _us_ to bow out! Never!” Kíli laughed, his voice equally alcohol induced.  
  
“If _anyone’s_ going to bow out, it’ll be _you_!” Fíli added with a giggle.  
  
Oin came over and slammed down three more mugs of ale in front of the three, the trio quickly grabbing the handles and chugging the liquid down as the watching dwarves and even a few men cheered and chanted them along.  
  
“For a lady, she’s got quite the pallet!” one of the men laughed.  
  
Lane quickly finished her mug and all but threw the mug down onto the tabletop, swinging around to glare in the general direction that the voice had come from.  
  
“Lady!? Who called me a fucking lady!!? I ain’t no fucking lady! No miss no lady no dame no nuttin!!” she slurred with a growl, attempting to stand from her bench only to teeter on her feet. “C’mere and this _lady’ll_ kick yer ass!”  
  
The group of dwarves let out a boisterous round of laughter as Lane fell back down into her bench and swayed to the side slightly before righting herself in time for Bombur to bring over three more mugs of ale.  
  
“Alright, I am ending this _right here_!” Belle barked, taking the mug from Lane just as she was about to down it with the brothers.  
  
“Oi! Fuck you, gimme tha’ back!” Lane barked, turning to glare up at her friend. “I wa’nt finished wi’t!”  
  
“You’re finished now!” Belle barked back, handing the mug to Bilbo who stood beside her. “And watch you language for pete’s sake!”  
  
“What ‘r you, my fucking mother?” Lane scoffed.  
  
“No I’m your friend, now come on, let’s go get some rest while we still can,” Belle sighed, taking her friend under the arm and pulling her to her feet.  
  
“But I nu waaaanaaa!” Lane whined, tripping over her own feet as Belle began to lead her away from the table. “I wuz winnin!”  
  
“Yes dear, I’m sure you were,” Belle sighed, throwing her friend’s arm across her shoulders and attempting to lead her towards the rooms that they had booked.  
  
Lane wasn’t cooperating however, Belle finding that the taller woman was much heavier than she’d expected. Just when Belle was getting ready to let her friend sleep on the floor, Bilbo came dashing over, helping Belle to take the intoxicated woman to their room for the night.  



End file.
